Who’s the asshole?
I went on a first date and we were walking down the street and saw a homeless man begging outside a shop. My date went into the shop, bought a pack of beers and gave them to the man.
We walked away, and he was acting all smug and clearly expecting me to praise him for his good deed, which was made my vagina seize shut. I said I don’t agree with what he had just done, and he got upset and made me out to be some conservative uptight person who doesn’t understand addiction.
I argued that if he gave the man money and he chose to walk into that shop to buy it himself, no problem. But to actually buy him alcohol is so patronising and dehumanizing and just sends the message that he’s a lost cause.
Neither of us could agree. It was uncomfortable afterwards because he was obviously offended by me and that was the end of the date. Doesn’t need to be said we won’t be seeing each other again.
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Eh more him then you. I can understand him wanting to be recognized and you just saying what he did wasn’t great. But he definitely should have done just money. I think for future if something like this ever happened again and you liked the dude then maybe. Just be like why not just money. Somtimes they are hungry or need water more then alcohol and just see what they say and go from there. Because in this case you didn’t say good job or anything. Like that to him at all it was all just negative and in any relationship guys don’t like that. I mean girls don’t either so I can see the problem. But then the way he acted back definitely wasn’t good either
idk, i do not agree with wanting praise for it but i would need more details about how the situation went down to decide how to feel about him buying the beers, like did the man ask “hey can you buy me some beer?” or something and you’re preferring that he would’ve just given him money for it instead of buying it himself? i wouldn’t care. or did he just ask if he has a few dollars and he just assumed it would be for beer and bought him some? that would be wrong. the wanting praise for it is weird regardless.
Idk the whole situation wouldn’t have bugged me that much.
I likely woulda asked “do you do stuff like that often?” I wouldn’t have said good job or aw you’re so sweet.
In America sometimes shops won’t let those they deem undesirable inside, so like his course of action doesn’t seem as dehumanizing or patronizing to me, as it might to others from elsewhere. 🤷♀️
I really don’t think anyone is the a hole. Weird that he wanted praise. But I’ve bought beer for homeless people before 🤷🏼♀️ The whole situation sounds awkward and uncomfortable. Good you guys found out you’re not a match on the first date so you don’t waste time.
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