Dont no what to do anymore i feel so broken
So ive just found out my partner of 8 years together known each other 15 years with 5 kids together youngest being currently 6 month old.
He has been talking and seeing some other lass since october last year behind my back i only just found out last night because the lass actually messaged me saying how shes been took for a fool and how much of a mug hes made her feel and allsorts hes met her in a hotel done stuff with her his family have all known about this the whole time and kept quiet infront of me this whole time ive been none the wiser i feel betrayed by everyone. I feel hurt before this we actually fell out before of something i did because my gut feeling was telling me for month he didnt want me he was messing aroind so it made me kiss someone else to which i regrettd and told him about it straight and the last 4 days have been amazing we have got through and last night that lass messages saying shes been saying him since october last years they done allsorts she knew about me about me being pregnant with our son at the time of meeting him she knew i have 4 other kids to him aswell and she still allowed it to happened no message with me no nothing. They both continue behind my back ive been sleeping wirh him non the wiser this has been happened she even said they was another girl before her he was talking to they play on cod together etc online. She said at one point he was voicenoting her and one of our kids have heard her and questioned him about it i havent been told about this with said child either. So shes clearly been bribed to not tell me anything aswell by him on our daughters birthday he gone tp meet her in a hotel insyead of ckming to his daughters birthday party saying hecwas atcwork when he wasnt! Last night i was so happy untill i got her message and he had told me everything last 4 days have been amazing with us and the kids and now this hes literally gone on today to buy a new phone and sim and give me his phone to give to kids reset it the lot but i just cant help bit feel its not gunna work i feel betrayed apecially qhen i was so poorly pregnant with his son and turns oit he was distant because he had another woman and she knew about me so i feel like every one of those nights now spent crying myself to sleep alone when hes been working away etc hes been with her there was signs he qas talkijg to someone aswell being off with me my prgnancy and callimg me names tellung me how i never give her sex and being secretive with his phone but ignored it all untill i broke and kiss someone else coa my head was in such a wrong space 2 month ago qhen i went out i was drunk it was a mistake bit of a attention yeah i like it but instantly regretted and went home then this week qeve worked on ot weve been so happy together all week untol last night. I feel absolute broke and i dont no what to do anymore!
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The father of your children sounds like a cheating scumbag. If you’re happy to remain living with a cheater and constantly worrying for the rest of your life who he’s sleeping with and chatting to, no trust, then remain in the relationship.
What you accept is what you will ultimately regret. He won’t change. Also don’t forget that you are teaching your children what a relationship is. Do you want your kids to grow up thinking being cheated on is ok? To stay with rubbish partners?
Note that he’s cheated on you twice. And those are the only ones you know about, god knows how many there have been over the years. Also his family clearly don’t like you either and want to see him happy with someone else, hence them keeping quiet.
I would suggest you go let him be the single man he so clearly wants to be and leave. Get yourself into counselling/therapy and put a child maintenance claim against him, sort visitation etc and level up your own life. You are worthy of so much more!
I am so terribly sorry u are going thru this. Pls take a deep breath, ur in shock right now but this is NOT ur fault. He started a calculated affair in October while u were heavily pregnant, lied for 8 months and skipped ur daughter's birthday. Ur drunk kiss was a reaction to his emotional neglect, it did not cause his double life so pls stop carrying that guilt.
The last 4 days were built on a lie. He only admitted things because the other woman caught him and exposed him n wiping his phone is hiding evidence not being transparent. Right now, ur priority has to be urself and ur 5 children. Pls also book an STI check immediately to protect ur health and if u need space, tell him to go stay with his family, the same people who enabled his deceit while u were pregnant.
U don't have to figure out your entire future today. U don't need to make a final decision on the relationship tonight. Take it 1 hour at a time. U are so much stronger than u feel right now. Sending u so much strength❤️
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