My almost 8 year old prefers her dad over me
Hi, I have a daughter who’s almost 8. She constantly complains to me that I never do anything fun with her, but when I try she doesn’t want to. She’s only content to spend the day with me if I’m spending money on her but she could go to my exs workplace and will spend the majority of the day on the iPad and it’s the best day ever (her words exactly). I’m just feeling a bit sad and like I’m being overlooked. She lives with me but has regular contact with her dad.
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Hey! I haven’t had an 8yr yet, but I have heard that your child expressing even the worst emotions to you means that they are comfortable opening up to you.
Take this time to reflect with what resonates with you and what is a projection. Take the rest with a grain of salt. As a parent, one of the best things you can give your children is emotional regulation (within yourself and then others. You cant pour from an empty cup.)
You can ask her what does a fun day look like to her. Give her that fun day at least 3 times. And on the third time, if you notice yourself still fee this way, bring it up to her in an emotionally regulated way. Children are going to express big emotions (its our job to help make those emotions feel not so big). Sometimes its learning what they need (which might be what you need. Validation and acknowledgement. A more emotionally present daughter if plausible). Sometimes you can’t get it from your children and thats okay. Being surrounded by ppl who see your
Efforts and provide positive reinforcement is always great. Sometimes a parent needs to hear, you’re doing a great job.
And YOU are doing a great job. I can see you care. You have support<3
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