Does your partner leave and get to work 1-2 hours early on a regular basis?
So my husband works in a metal shop. He usually goes into work 1-2 hours early. When we first got together he'd get to work about 30-45 min early so he could sleep a bit in the parking lot. A few years ago we were dealing with stuff and he had a bunch of paperwork he had to do online so for like a week he'd go in about 1-1.5 h early to take his nap and get the paper work done. Fast forward to the last few months he's going in 2 hours early some days. The other night I was joking around saying "why are you leaving earlier tomorrow? You already get there an hour early" and he immediately said "leave me alone that's my only alone time!" I genuinely wasn't expecting him to get upset and defensive like that.... I don't really feel like I need alone time but I do understand it. It's also a little frustrating because it's not like I get alone time... I might get an hour if I get lucky and our children nap at the same time, but it's honestly not very often that happens...i honestly don't even care about that, i just feel hurt that he feels like he needs to get up 2 hours early for work to have alone time...theres more but I want to see if this is normal so far.
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To be clear we live 15 minutes from his work, and he's getting to work and sitting in the parking lot for 2 hours.
That’s so weird to me. I love alone time but going to work 2h early for it is bizarre. My partner leaves as late as possible so I don’t have to do everything myself in the morning. I’d be questioning why he’s so defensive too
Even what he was doing before was weird. Why nap in the car when you can nap at home and be comfortable. Not going to lie, sounds like he’s trying to get away from you for whatever reason. I get needing alone time, I love my own company but doing it every day is unusual, especially getting defensive means he knows what he’s doing is making you question it
My husband gets up 2 hours early for work. He is up at 4am and is alone because everyone is sleeping. That is his alone time and part of his routine. I get my alone time after everyone is in bed. So, I understand he needs some time to not be responsible for anything. I think it’s strange to go to work though to have it. If it’s chaotic at home (which it can be with kids!) he may want some quiet before his shift starts.
Why is it weird that he needs alone time? He's not able to get that at home. And then you say you aren't someone who needs alone time. Everyone needs alone time.
These comments are ridiculous.
You can also utilize the time he's home to get away from your kids/responsibilities as well, but you choose not to because you don't need it. Maybe he does. I can't help but to think you find this offensive.
We all have different thresholds. What you can handle may not be what he can handle
He leaves as late as he possibly can. He would never get in early unless he wanted to leave earlier
I used to live above my office, and would often get there an hour and a half early.
It’s just nice to get some of my own work done and get my day ready, have breakfast & coffee all before the hustle and bustle of the day starts.
Yes he’s up at 5. but he goes to the gym they have at his work, tbh I don’t mind as it means after work he’s spending time with us all instead of the gym 💁🏻♀️ if he’s using his time differently to me that’s his choice he works out in those hours I sleep 😅
I used to do this when I worked. I hated coming in and having to start within 2 minutes of me arriving. This way when I was an hour early I could sit somewhere quiet and be alone and prepare for the day with a coffee or I would grab food. So, I don't see anything wrong with this myself. I would get a bit of anxiety coming in last minute for my shift because there was no down time transition. It was straight from home to work.
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