Is it weird or am I thinking too much into it?
I’m stepmom but I’m also a biomom. With school coming back into session, my husband has had to basically pry information out of HCBM for meet the teacher information, as the school only mails it directly to her even though he is listed. At first, she tried to tell him he didn’t need to go and he persisted saying he wanted to attend. Fine, she gave him the information. But now that he’s planning on attending, she isn’t. Mind you their daughter is her oldest of her 4. They only share the 1. So her next oldest new teacher is one that their daughter already had, therefore now she’s not going bc she already knows that teacher but doesn’t feel the need to want to meet this new teacher, even though she’s the one who’s primarily parenting throughout the school year since she lives out of state from us. She’s also made it super difficult to share information regarding report cards bc again we’re out of state and her school wants us to show up to gain all of this information which just can’t happen realistically.
But don’t you think it’s weird she wouldn’t want to show up to a meet the teacher event, or do you think she just is playing it by the fact that she’ll meet her later on?
As a biomom myself, one thing I do is show up. Always, bc it matters to not only the kids but to the school to let them know I’m an active, involved and caring parent.
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You can't judge everyone's actions by what you think you would do. Maybe she just doesn't want to spend that time with her ex, which I think is pretty understandable. Doesn't mean that's the best course of action but surely you could see why she might not want to be in that situation?
I would still go and meet the teacher. Talk to the school in person and find out why you aren’t getting the info like report cards. It is strange for a school to only have paper report cards.
As a stepmom myself, I wouldn't worry about what BM is doing or not doing. (I know that takes time to develop such a mindset, though, and is much easier said than done.) If DH is going to the meeting, great! That way you guys can have the information you need. If BM doesn't show up, that'll be on her. She'll have to email the teacher about things she'll have missed out on (if you guys feel the need to pass on information yourselves, you could email a summary to her after the meeting).
I'm sorry it's been so difficult to get basic information from her. That is really hard. Feel free to message me if you'd like to vent about it. We struggle with getting information as well. I know that it's not always possible to get the information especially if the basics aren't passed along, but when you have the source, we've learned that it's best to go straight to it, if that makes sense.
I don't think it's your place to worry about what bio mom is doing. She'll meet the teacher eventually. Sounds like she doesn't want to be around your husband and that's her business.
They probably need to be explicitly told that it needs to be sent to 2 places. But that's excessive. I'm sure they assume the parents could communicate. Why you need a separate report card mailed to you guys idk
Can he not call the school for their schedule and a copy of his child’s report card? He should be on the birth certificate, and it be no problem? Now I’d want to meet my kids teacher but maybe she feels comfortable with the school at this point and doesn’t see the need just yet. Maybe she has to work. I think it’s unfair to pass judgement: The child lives with mom during the school year so that’s most of the year and the dad’s out of state so he’s no help meaning that mom is doing a lot as a single mom managing 4 kids total.
She most certainly though that as the father for once is going to let him be (as she usually manages this on her own). She has other 3 kids and is probably busy doing other things. At school, sometimes I attend and sometimes my partner does and if we split that would be the same. Then one communicates to the other...
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