Sharing my story
I was diagnosed with PPA/PPD almost immediately after giving birth despite the fact that I had a fairly easy pregnancy and was also on an SSRI already. First it was intense anxiety about the baby and harm coming to her and crazy instructive thoughts. This lasted for months and I tried several different medications which didn’t work. Fast forward to February where it became so bad I could no longer eat or drink and I kept waking up every morning asking my husband to kill me and felt that I needed to die. At that point I admitted myself to the hospital. I stayed for 2 weeks and was able to begin eating again. I’m now back at home and on 6 different medications which are working alright. I still feel anxious and depressed but it’s more muted and the intrusive thoughts are gone. The depression is so weird to me because I’ve never had depression before. I just continually wonder how long it will last.
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It ends. It will. I also had PPD and PPA, and I’ll never understand how hormones can take us to such dark places. I’m 10 months in I felt so so much better little by little but at the 8 month mark and especially now at 10 I feel like I’m waking up. Most people say 18 months is a huge positive shift. But I had to make friends, really force myself to hang out with people, and learn to enjoy motherhood, enjoy my baby, journal about positive things we’ll do one day, and meeting moms with slightly older kids helped me so much to look forward to more independence. But the most thing I think that helped was when my sleep got in order. We sleep trained and on weekends my husband lets me sleep in or take a longer nap. And I try to nap once a day when my baby naps. Also just accepting that things will be unpredictable and going with the flow and knowing even if ur having a bad day a positive day can come any second - literally.
Message me anytime you’d like
Thanks for saying something! It’s just so lonely and hard when no one around me talks about PPD
You’re braver than you give urself credit for! 💗
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