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First time mums

Don’t feel loved by partner

A bit of a back story - I met my partner 7 years ago and we were in a relationship for a year and then he told me he didn’t feel the same as me he didn’t feel like we click, this caught me completely off guard as I never felt that was the case and we got on really well, there wasn’t anyone else involved as he’s not that type of guy. So we were still speaking a lot after we broke up, we still met occasionally for sex I’d say probably every 2 months or something like that, we decided we would try again now that we were older and he was in a better head space mentally. We had an honest conversation about how we were both getting older now and i had come off the pill a few months prior due to not being in a relationship and not having sex regularly enough to be on it as it was causing havoc with my skin and weight etc, he knew I wasn’t on the pill and was using condoms when we occasionally had sex, we then said maybe we should have unprotected sex from now on and if a baby happens we would obviously love and welcome the baby, but if it didn’t happen then we wouldn’t be actively ‘trying’ for a baby but at the same time we are both in our 30s so both didn’t want to have children too late in our lives. Anyway we ended up getting pregnant about 2 months after this conversation, all was well at first during my pregnancy and then he told me that he cheated on me with a prostitute because he was “stressed and petrified about having a baby and got drunk one night and rang her” now baring in mind he is not this kind of guy who always has a wandering eye at all, he has only ever had 2 girlfriends and I was one of them, he’s never really been the ‘player’ type of guy so this came as a massive shock to everyone who knew because it just wasn’t something anyone thought he would ever do.
I was 7 months pregnant at the time when he cheated on me.
I didn’t know what to do, I had never even anticipated that this would ever happen and I decided to stay with him because I didn’t want to be a single mum, I didn’t want my baby growing up without his mum and dad under the same roof and I wanted to make it work for the sake of our child.
This was 2 years ago now and since then he has tried to make it up to me and we got back to some kind of better place, but I have never really felt loved by him, he tells me he loves me every day but I don’t feel special when he says it, I hear him speak to his family and he says “love you bye” to them the same way he says it to me and I don’t feel like I am as high up on his priorities as I should be. I keep telling him I don’t feel like a priority to him and the family he made should come before the family he came from etc and he just doesn’t see it the same way. He keeps saying we are polar opposites and we don’t agree on parenting styles etc. tonight he has been out drinking with his friends and we have had the biggest argument we have ever had and I don’t know where it even came from, he basically said we should sell the house and go our separate ways because we are not working and he wants to make it work but I’m always the problem etc and I have told him where has this even come from because he was texting me saying he loves me while he was out only a few hours ago? I can only assume he tells his friends and family our ‘issues’ and they apparently all tell him to leave me, I clash with his family because they think they are entitled to my child since the day he was born I have just been the person who birthed him for them, I have told him I think he needs to stop indulging so much of our issues to them because there should only be me and him in our relationship not 5/6/7 other people getting involved with their opinions. I don’t even know the majority of his friends as I’m not from the area and only moved here with him when we had our child.
I don’t really know what the point of this post was if I’m being completely honest. It’s 5am, I’ve hardly slept, I’m not sure where my life is going to go in the morning and I don’t want any of this but at the same time I don’t know how to make it better.
I feel like I’m scared to love him and show him love incase it pushes him away like it did the first time, and at the same time I don’t know how to feel loved by him either.