Bottle preference over breast making me so upset

My LO is 11 weeks and is increasingly preferring the bottle over the breast. He had a severe tongue tie which was released at 4 weeks but issues have remained with his oral function. We’ve battled through so many ups and downs with his feeding, and he keeps having breast refusal or is soooo fussy getting into/staying on the breast that he’s just swallowing so much air. I might have to finally accept that I’ll have to fully pump and do bottles but I already feel distraught about it and like it’s not what ‘I’m meant to do’ as his mummy, that I’ve wasted 11 weeks with everything revolving around BF, that I’ve failed and that I’m losing such a meaningful connection with him. I don’t know how I’m going handle it. I would never think this way if any friends chose to bottle/formula feed but I feel so so upset that my journey may not make it.

Any advice welcome.

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If you have to make a change to suit you and your baby do it! You havent wasted anything. 11 weeks is amazing! You havent failed at all, your baby is being fed and loved. I wasnt able to BF my first baby and I promise we still had/have an amazing connection! I am BF my second and I dont feel differently about him I promise.

If you want to try something, I was recommended the Lansinoh natural wave bottled for BF babies. But dont put yourself under any pressure. Having a baby is hard enough!

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This can be quite common and you haven’t done anything wrong and you definitely haven’t failed. The fact that you’re worried about this shows just how much you care and how much effort you’re putting in.

I would look into paced bottle feeding and also ensure you have a very slow flowing bottle teat, that resembles your nipple as much as possible. Babies often prefer bottle because it takes less effort to get the milk out. If you use an extra slow flowing teat it makes it feel similar to breastfeeding.

You could always stop the bottles and get them used to your boob again but I appreciate only feeding from the boob can be very demanding!

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My LO has just turned 6 months and I’ve had the same journey. Tongue tie released at 6 weeks though and she still struggled to maintain proper oral function to breastfeed. I can assure you that my connection with her is no less! The only difference I feel now is the annoyance of having so much to wash - bottles, pump parts, milk storage jugs - and bed time involves a bit more rocking and patting. She definitely can still smell the milk and settles much better with me because of it. And i’m not sure if its normal for a bottle fed baby but she will only take a bottle from me. Which is a total inconvenience but proof that despite it, she still has a strong connection with me. Hope that makes you feel better! I too still mourn that I couldn’t nurse. But pumping for any substantial duration is some feat so I’m immensely proud of myself and my child will know one day that I could have took the easier way out and used formula but I preserved to give her the best!

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