Friends postpartum
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Sadly, it happens. I have lost friends because they don't know what it's like- or simply just don't want to deal with a baby.This may be a silly question, but have you asked them for help? Also, providing cuddles can be a help. I usually say something like thanks for holding the baby do you mind changing him/her into a clean onsies/diaper/sweater or whatever else you may need help with. That way I have a minute to change the laundry over or set the dishwasher or take a 5minute shower. Some may view it as taking advantage of a friend that just wants to say hi, but if they are really a friend they wouldn't or shouldn't mind. Hope that helps...
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I feel this. Most of my friends are moms which is nice but one of my very best friends isn’t even close to that stage in life (which is totally cool) BUT I can sense a shift in her when she’s around me now. She’s also not near as interested in planning to hang out and it hurts my heart.
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Omg THIS hurt MY heart. I hope your baby girl befriends kids with amazing parents for you to click with 💕
Already losing mine pregnant because I’m no longer the one who’s always up for a good time 🙄
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Those mfs
Yep... I've got 3 small children now (3,2 and 2 months) and even my friends with children have drifted away as I guess we're a lot to deal with plus it takes us ages to get anywhere... I long for someone just come in and actually help (not just cuddle the baby and play with the boys) but Ive never even left them all with my parents as I feel like it's too much to expect them to watch them all.... I miss adult conversation! X
I didn’t have kids when my best friend gave birth to her first, it didn’t stop me realising she needed support. I helped them move house with a two week old baby and that night I rocked their beautiful son to sleep while they both had showers and fed themselves. Not having kids isn’t an excuse for being a crappy human.
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Omg you didn’t
But so glad you did 😜
I agree with this post so much and I can relate! So true and sad at the same time.
It’s so sad but yea I lost my non mum friends and some of my mum friends, guess I wasn’t convenient for them anymore 💁♀️
As one of the last in my friendship group to get pregnant I get it from the other side of it. My friends always seemed so busy and occupied by their little ones that I didn’t want to bug them by inviting them out or I felt like I was bugging them asking to visit them all the time! ‘Oh she’s asking me to go out to eat again- can’t she see I have a baby!’) is what I imagined them saying to their other half’s. I didn’t even think about asking if I could do anything to help because I knew/know NOTHING about babies and they never seemed like they needed much help. (Obviously I know now they were probably just sucking it up) If one of them had said ‘I don’t even have 5 mins to do the pots’ I would have offered to wash the pots 😂. Please try and see it from the other side!
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Omg yes!! You sound like a good friend. Totally get that as I lightly stated in my post. It’s the friends who can help and choose not to. Those who JUST want to have fun with you. Those who can’t fathom asking if you need help; it’s so far off their radar bc their plate is too full with their wants and their past life with you
Okay this whole fit and photo is so cute OMG lol I hope to look this cute after my daughter is born in 4 weeks lol
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You’re so sweet!! Just loving my new body, wrinkles marks and all! 🧡
Yep!! They stop asking you because you say no more often than yes.. but they should always keep asking !!!!!
100% agree!!!
100% get this. My friend took my pregnancy not well, she didn’t understand why I was telling people as and when I wanted, I liked to tell people face to face so I was pretty far gone for some, she thought one friend would be mad because it ‘takes people to get their head round the idea’ even told another herself, didn’t say anything to me that she had done. I just started to distance myself from her as I couldn’t be arsed with it. Told several friends I felt lonely when baby was months old. Nobody checked in, nobody asked to see me so I now don’t bother with half of them. Haven’t even told some about my second pregnancy. I now only deal with people who care. I don’t want people in my life I can’t depend on. My feeling in life is if they’re not their already they won’t get it, but I can sleep knowing they’re time will come and a serious reality check will dawn.
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Love your outlook tho, sounds like you got it figured out strong mama
Haha my bestie didn’t either!! She bought a dog and pretty much said puppies and babies are equally demanding 😜
I haven’t had my baby yet and I already think about this all the time. Cuz I know as a non parent I wouldn’t really wanna hang out with friends once they became parents, it was just a natural drift. So I’m fully expecting it to happen to me when the baby comes. It’s a shame cuz if I lived in my home country I would have all my family and it would be amazing. But here I only have friends and I don’t expect to see them to much once I pop.
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Stay strong mama, we’ll find our mama tribe hopefully soon!!
Not quite a mum for another few days (eeeek) but just wanted to add, love this aesthetic, loving the outfit
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Congratulations!!! And thank you 🥰☺️
Omg well said. It's sad that they tend to forget about you. Even my own best friend seems to forget to check in as often. I guess people don't really know how much you truly need them unless they've experienced that sense of isolation themselves.
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I've invited her over but she always is either working or going out with other friends. 🤷♀️
Do you check in with her? Do you invite her over or invite her out? I found with my friends they never initiated contact and that led to me feeling like I was the one bugging them as they must be so busy! I kept this up for a while and stopped reaching out eventually and all contact stopped because they never bothered with me. they then got funny with me because I stopped making an effort! 🤷🏻♀️
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Yes! As one of the first in my friend group to have a baby they were all so interested when I was pregnant and when she was a newborn but now they’ve all stopped texting to ask! because of covid/lockdowns I never felt like I got to share my pregnancy with them and they never got to meet my little girl when she was born and now I feel forgotten about too!
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And would that have happened regardless of Covid? Who knows 🤷🏼♀️ What I DO know is I want some MAMA friends 🥰
I literally get blanked now that I have a baby. My best-friend of 8 years who i was going to ask to be my daughters god father hasnt spoke to me since My baby was 2 weeks old. Shes 6 months old on Sunday. Ive messaged him multiple times since then trying to keep the friendship alive and i either get short replies like the next day or no response at all, you’d think he was the one with the baby. My opinion on him has literally become the opposite I think mums are isolated alot whether its intentional or not is irrelevant its still shitty.
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Then the hubby comes home exhausted, your only adult convo 😑
Saaaaaame 💯💯💯
I feel you sooooo much! When I got pregnant with my daughter almost three and half years ago I lost a lot of friends! People don’t understand how lonely it can get after having babies until they go through it. I honestly can say I have two close friends who I have been still in touch since being pregnant the first time two more have been in touch my phone because they live in another country. And in my case husband is no help he broke my heart weeks ago when I told him he never listens to my conversations and his respond was “it’s just you talk to much” so my only two closest friends are my two kids who I’m home with all day. I am more than happy to be your friend, we might not live in the same state but I’m always a message away.
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Aww, your babies are your besties 🤍 the world needs more people like you!
very well said. its lonely be pregnant and looking after a baby. chin up girl. youve got this
I'll be your mum friend I love your outift !!
Such good feedback and so true!! I want to maintain my relationships while helping my friends build a fun relationship with my son, but it honestly gets to a point where I don’t have the energy to balance that and ask for help so I just skip