Anxiety & Depression ❤️

I am 10 weeks pregnant and have been wanting this for such a long time. But now it's here I feel utterly miserable. I suffer from seasonal depression and have taken anti depressants in the past but I have been okay without them this year. The last 2 weeks I have felt completely drained. Work seem to be putting more on me (they know I'm pregnant) do I'm coming home exhausted every day. I have tried to voice my concerns but they are just shrugging them off saying they don't have the staff at the moment. I can only eat about 3 things which is also making me miserable and not providing me with any energy. I can't take my supplements as I just throw them straight back up. My husband is trying to understand but is a typical 'how do we fix it' male. I have spend the last 2 evenings crying and being in bed by 8. I feel so bad cis the house is a tip, I can't open the fridge without being sick so can't even attempt to make his tea (he regularly works 13 hour days) so I feel really bad.

Anyone else felt like this? Considering going to my GP to go back on my anti depressants but I hate relying on them.

Please no one come at me for this post I just want to know I'm not alone I this feeling but I have some car troubles now it's ready to be picked up from the garage which I am doing tomorrow but have asked my mum to follow me home as even though it's mended my anxiety is very high as I've not driven for a few weeks. I know deep done ill be fine. My other issue with my anxiety is I need to stay local to get my confidence back in my car before driving my car further l. My partner says I need to go further but he's not understanding my anxiety please tell me I'm not the only 1 again no judgement or nasty comments

This is really hard to even start to say. I have these thoughts, most everyday. Thoughts of wishing I wasn't alive, wishing I was dead, when someone dies wishing it had been me, when someone's seriously ill wishing it was me. I don't know if I'm miserable because of how my life has turned out, or because I'm burnt out or because I'm just a miserable person. These thoughts aren't new, I've been having them since I was a child and I'm now 40. I don't know what to do anymore and I have no to talk to.

I'll go first - attempting to open up to people about how you're feeling and being met with exasperation. It makes me shut down and feel even more lonely.

I have been depressed since I was 17 and I'm 34 now. I've truly never found something that makes me happy in life. Sometimes I feel ok and it's more anxiety than anything else, but on the whole im just a miserable person. I've tried medication, therapy, talking to family. Nothing works long term so what is the point?

I'm ashamed of this - I tried to overdose while I was pregnant. Baby and I are fine and luckily no one found out. The only thing that ties me here is my son and knowing that I couldn't leave him motherless.

I'm exhausted and don't see any future for me. I don't want to wake up when I go to bed at night. I pray and pray but I'm still here.

Does anyone agree that some people have depression that can't be treated? I have lived my whole adult life like this.