Venting (judge free)

Currently 10+ 3 weeks and since finding out the pregnancy I’ve not slept well! Every night I have to get up to pee once or twice, and just can’t fall asleep! Acne getting really bad and can’t use much other than Azeliac acid which doesn’t really help! Bloating makes me look like I’m already 6 months big and no clothes fit or look nice Just feel so ugly, unwell and unfit right now!

I'm so happy to be pregnant but lately I've either been feeling completely numb and not there or crying uncontrollably. I feel like I have nobody to open up to either so i can't shake the feeling that I'm completely alone. My boyfriend tries to fix everything immediately rather than comforting me, even if I'm just crying and I can't put my finger on why. My dad passed away when I was young, my mum is abusive and my grandparents have passed too... I'm terrified that I'll be a terrible mum or be like my mother. I'm just worried constantly and I'm really struggling to look after myself.

I'm not even sure I want a solution, if I just need a vent or I just need to know if somebody has felt the same way as me?

I’m curious if anyone else has dealt with this during pregnancy because I feel like I’m going crazy sometimes 😭

One of the hardest parts of pregnancy for me has honestly been people not understanding that being pregnant doesn’t automatically mean everyone gets access to my body, my baby, or every moment of my pregnancy.

I’m a pretty private person, and I’ve had to repeatedly tell family members things like “please don’t touch my belly without asking,” “please don’t take pictures or record me without asking,” and “please don’t share ultrasound pictures or anything about my baby on social media.” I’ve even had people get upset because I don’t let them feel the baby kick.

Meanwhile, I see other pregnant women who LOVE having their family touch their belly, feel every kick, be involved in everything, etc. and I completely respect that. But that’s just not me. Feeling my baby move is a really intimate experience for me, and I don’t want someone reaching over and touching my stomach just because I’m pregnant.

I even had a woman I barely know at a church event reach over to touch my belly without asking, and my immediate reaction was to step back because I was so uncomfortable. 😭

I’ve started wondering if I’m being overly protective or if pregnancy hormones/anxiety are making me more sensitive than usual. I know everyone experiences pregnancy differently, but sometimes I feel like I’m the “extra” one because people around me are so much more open with their pregnancies.

Did anyone else feel this way? Were you very protective/private about your pregnancy and baby, even if your family thought you were being overly strict? I’d love to hear other people’s experiences.

Yes you read that right. Here's the background:

So I was a single mom for year with an awesome village that drove me nuts. My oldest sister has been a second mom to my two oldest boys from day one, if they needed it she made sure they had it and she spoils them rotten. My kids were homeschooled for year cause the schools by me suck. So when they got older I gave them the choice go back home where we are from (I moved when they were 3 and almost 1) and go to school, or stay here with me and remained homeschooled. Not surprisingly they ditched me for their fave aunt. Anyway to make things easier I told her to file for custody as she's over 3 hours away and I don't drive. Upon filling for custody she decided that since their father never did much she'll take him for child support. The courts told her I would have to pay as well since I signed over my rights. So yeah now I'm on the hook for child support for the children I took care of for years. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Sooooo this is kinda long… sorry in advance.

this is my 3rd baby and we’ve recently had my MIL come stay with us to watch the kids and save on daycare. My other kids are just about 4 & 2.5 years old. She agreed to come out from another state to live with us to watch the kids and our “contract” is for 2 years. We found our baby #3 was in the way after the plans were made about a year ago. Baby is due in October. She still has a house and family in her state and has been asking if I plan to be home on maternity the entire 3 months and asking if I can handle the kids by myself if she stays gone longer than her week cruise in December. I said yes, I can manage my kids but I also talked to her about needing extra space after giving birth. With my 1st I had PPA really bad that quickly turned into PPD after losing my mom 4 days after birth. With my second I just have really bad PPD and family over telling me what to do and constantly telling me what was “wrong” with my newborn make everything worse. This time around I want to embrace postpartum and go into it positively. So I asked if she can start her vacation early and allow me to be in my house and in my element alone to recover and spend quality time with all my kids. I’m not used to speaking up, kind of a doormat and after therapy sessions I’ve found my voice to speak up and make sure I’m thinking about my mental health as a priority over someone else’s feelings. She didn’t take it well. My husband said she can stay 1 month after birth (pushing it when all I want to do is be comfortable breastfeeding and recovering) and she tried to push for longer. I said no. Now everyday she says “I’m not allowed to be here, she doesn’t want me here” to my husband when they talk about watching upcoming sports or whatever. And she continues to make digs says I don’t want her here and I’m kicking her out and talking in Spanish on the phone to her mom about my want to be alone postpartum. I understand Spanish though I don’t speak it with her. So it’s kind of irritating that she’s making this whole thing about her when I’m trying to make sure I make it out of postpartum alive mentally. Mind you, she’ll be returning in January when I have to go back to work. Am I wrong for being pissed that she’s trying to make me out to be the bad guy? Also, she told me the only reason she agreed to help watch the kids was NOT for the kids. She was worried her son(my husband) was not taking care of himself and she came for HIM. So again, am I wrong asking to be alone my 3 months postpartum?