How did you tell your dad? Were they disappointed?
I feel really alone and scared in this.
My parents are together, with my dad slightly more conservative than my Mum... I already know he is ok with co-parenting but not single parenting.
My abusive partner walked out on me and telling my parents that he was abusive was extremely hard (they had no idea and just sat there in shock listening and not quite understanding how I endured what I did).
For anyone who's experienced trauma bonding, you may understand... there was a lot of back-and-forth after we split, of which I fell pregnant.
When I told him, he blocked me and said never to contact him again.
I told my mum at 10 weeks and she refuses to tell my dad. She said i should put a business plan together to show I'm "capable".
I'm now 16 weeks. My mum hasn't brought up the pregnancy since I told her. I found out the sex today and asked if she wanted to know. She told me that she'd like it to be a surprise. I asked her if she'd like to see some pictures and she was surprised I'd been for a scan and asked if everything (at the scan) came back OK... that was the end of the conversation.
The few friends I've told are excited. I know some other friends will initially be disappointed that I went back... and they won't understand either, but they will get over it (my life, my choices). I feel like my mum is ashamed and based on her response, I feel really unsupported telling my dad.
Has anyone else been in this situation? How did you tell your dad? Or what should I tell him?
Over the years, I've seen people proudly announce their baby's gender. My mum announced last week, at the dinner table, that my cousin is having in January (she would know I'm due around then too). And here I am not sure if it's my insecurities and why i feel sad or not valid to celebrate...
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I have been through a relationship like that and let me tell you i totaly understand where you are coming from and how you feel. Being a mum is hard and being a single mum even harder and going through family violence and abuse just makes the whole thing unberable at times. First of all know that you going to be ok. You have done the harderst part to walk away from an abusive relationship. You need all the support that you can get. Be around people that will support you no matter what. Sounds like your family is very tradional and it may be hard for them to understand that not everyone ends up with ring, mariage and a baby. Hopefully they will soon understand. I do believe you need to tell your dad. Your parents will need to know that it is better raising a child as a sigle mum free of domestic abuse. Domestic abuse can affects kids for life and a lot of cases the kids copy the bad behaviour they see. You dont want that so your parents would not want that and with time they will understand.
Regardless of what they think, just know you are doing the right thing by you and your child. No child should be part of domestic violence and by you waking away or by the dad not wanting to be there is for the best. If the dad will work on his behaviour thn co parating might be ok. Remember, the law sais a child has the right to both parents if the parents are fit to be parents. Parents have a responsibilty as parents and not a right to a child. A child has a right to grow up in a positive and loving environment and domestic violence is not that. Im here if you need to talk to anyone, catch up or even need dome advise.
Please take care of yourself and the baby. You and the baby are the most important right now.
What are you having if you dont mind me asking. I have a 3.5 months old boy.
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