How do I stop feeling so bitter?
My husband left me 6/7 months ago now, he said he fell out of love with me because I didn’t give him love after I had our boys (pretty much back to back pregnancies). After my last, I had a section and a terrible recovery and was readmitted with a horrific infection and when I got home I was solo parenting as he had to go back to work. I felt so resentful at times because he wouldn’t help with our toddler and newborn and even after speaking up, he’d say he’d help and never did so I never felt emotionally able to give him anything.
I felt so unsupported after both of my pregnancies, even during them to be honest.
What irks me is that our relationship has been rocky, he hasn’t been the nicest to me and has lived as though he was single throughout the whole relationship. I put up with so much and always stayed loyal and kept loving him through the bad times. Now, I feel really angry and sad that through my tough time after birth that he easily called it quits and didn’t give me the same energy when things got tough on my part. At my most vulnerable moment when emotions are high and erratic, he throws in the towel like our family isn’t worth it? He comes to see the boys a few times a week and I feel like I hate him. He’s being disgustingly nice to me and tries to be affectionate sometimes and it makes me irrationally angry. I tell him it’s not fair to act that way when he knows I love him and he doesn’t love me and he doesn’t listen. Sorry it’s a bit of a ramble but I just wanted to get this off my chest!