mil buying first teddy/stuffed animal

I agree with your boyfriend, you can buy another teddy. The baby isn’t going to know. By the time the baby is aware of toys he/she will probably have lots more.

The first one you give to your baby will be their first teddy, you can still get the first one 🧸

I completely agree with your sentiment of wanting to be the first, but I agree that the first teddy/toy is the one the baby touches first so you guys get to decide which one it is. That's your right as their parents ❤️

I think you're overreacting, she has done a nice thing buying a gift for your baby, it doesn't have to be the first teddy you give your baby. You will get lots more. My baby is 3 months old and isn't interested in teddies at all. She was gifted loads and has far too many. There are lots of posts on here about MIL showing no interest at all, at least yours wants to be involved and wants to help. Also we use our changing table a lot. The boy mums I know tend to as well as you don't want little boys peeing all over your bed. We have set the chest of drawers up as a changing station. Especially useful with big dirty nappies or when people are round and you don't want to change a smelly nappy in the room everyone is in.

My mil was the same she even bought a travel cot but guess what ? No mattress and kept bothering us where we bought ours because ours has a mattress, and why they sell them without mattresses. I said because all baby brands needs to make money although we know its not safe. It's just for her to play when she comes here... a pandemic baby barely left the house. So guess what might be sitting ther we don't know. My partner went mental with her about it. Bought a teddy as well but my daughter is still attached to the one we bought before she was born. So don't bother with that.

The first teddy is the one you give to baby. If you don’t want their teddy to be your babies, then don’t give it to them till after. I guess it’s only sentimental to you. Children will choose their own beloved toy, it might be one you think is awful or a cheap toy someone gave as gift. The child will choose what’s most special to them. I have four kids, and I’ve spent lots of money on expensive toys, but they usually end up loving some random cheap toy.

I'd expect a few comments telling you you're out of order to emerge here! 😂 I can absolutely sympathise with you though! And your feelings are justified! I had a similar situation with wanting to buy my little girls first doll (I got some serious stick on here for it when I posted 😂) I told all grandparents that it was the only thing I wanted to have the pleasure of buying for my little girl and politely asked them to refrain. Husbands grandma (despite me reminding her several times) went out her way to buy her one anyway. I gave her it right back.. sorry not sorry! She's now got it stored away waiting for me to buy my little girl a doll so she can give her it "because it won't be her first anymore" she's absolutely chomping at the bit, she asked me straight after Christmas if we'd got her one. If I had my way she wouldn't have it at all. It really broke my heart when she pulled it out a carrier bag and showed it to my daughter knowing full well what she was taking away from me.

@Jessica she wants to buy a cot too although my sisters giving me my nephews cot which is the exact one we wanted just needs a new mattress for cleanliness! the teddy the way she spoke about it is like she expects it to be the first bc her kids all had the same one. i don’t feel like any of its out of being helpful. she turns her nose up at all of my decisions like no kissing baby and me wanting to use reusable nappies it seems to be all about control!

It’s a very common thing for grandparents to disagree with the concept of no kissing baby and it’s something that pops up often on Peanut. Crossing boundaries is definitely an issue and it’s important she adheres to your rules. However I would let the Teddy thing go personally and give her the benefit of the doubt, it seems a bit ott to donate it. Just hold onto it and give it to your baby when you’re ready.

If your sister is giving you one why is that an issue for her ? My mum is really grateful with those atitudes towards her granddaughter, and she's the first one saying if it's in good condition just accept so my cousin gave me her cot and is going to be for my second as well. Nappies ? My daughter had an allergy so I gave them away she was like that's expensive nappies she should be fine with them so she was basically saying that no matter what they need to be used. Like now my daughter is a size 4 my friend gave me too massive bags of size 4 clothes so I said do not buy any size 4 there's loads now, keeps buying... to hard to understand that we are parents and we are the ones raising them?

@Maddie that's annoying!! Your girl wasn't a baby baby anymore so was aware it was (going to be) her 'first doll'? 😡

Just remember lovely this is YOUR baby not anyone else’s! no decision should be made regarding your baby other than by you or your partner, you two buy your baby the teddy you want baby to have, one thing you will realise when you have children is, you, your partner, your kids are the priority, youre a team, you’re the only people you can rely on, anybody else is around because they contribute happiness or because they want to be! But in the end the only people important are you’re own little team! ❤️ never ever let anybody have input on how you raise you’re children! She may have innocently got the teddy trying to be nice but I would address it with her :) and just say please don’t buy anything else for the baby, we love that you want to be involved but these things we want to do ourselves :)! I have never ever not been vocal about my decisions regarding my children, they are mine and my husbands and our choices are stuck, don’t like them, don’t want to respect them, don’t see us! X

@Charlotte i think i don’t see it that way because of how shes acted so far. theres also what i would say more posts on here of mils being too involved and or controlling. ever since the first chat i had with her after my boyfriend told her we were expecting. i feel all of my decisions are judged. the fact that i am choosing to have a home birth, my sisters being at the birth, that i don’t want my baby kissed on the mouth, that i’m choosing to have an earlier private scan to find out the gender. she wants us to visit her every weekend even when the baby is little which is up to an hour depending on traffic there and back. my boyfriend has now made it very clear that will not be happening and she will have to make effort in coming to visit us. at one point she made comments about sitting in the car outside my house waiting for baby to be born and incase my boyfriend needed a hug. the list could go on. after all this i don’t see it as a gift for baby just control.

@Maddie yes! i understand that completely. my first doll was is one if my first memories my parents got it for my 4th birthday. if a little girl loves dolls she will always remember her first doll. you made it so clear as well that you wanted to buy the first. she should’ve returned the doll right away id tell her your daughter only needs one doll for now or take it and just hide away in the closet 😂

Firstly newborns shouldn't really be in car seat for more than 30 mins for first few weeks so play on that so you can have a break. Also this is your pregnancy not hers so she should stop shoving her nose in. I never heard about Jellycats they're so cute. I would have said that the Teddy could stay at inlaws for visit. Also enforce your boundaries and get partner to be strong on it too. Noooooooo way is she going to be outside the house! I would make sure your partner does not open the door. I hope she's joking

@Jessica yep! its my turn to raise my baby now! i don’t need her turning up her nose to my decisions. if she doesn’t want to change a reusable nappy then simple she wont babysit. ive now told my boyfriend to make it clear to her that we do not need a changing table!

@Cara she was maybe about 7 months at the time (shes one now) We'd had the conversation whilst I was pregnant because as soon as we found out we was having a girl she wanted to buy a doll, I politely said no and said I wanted to buy it. Then when she was born she mentioned it again... I said no again. Then weeks later she said "I think it's only right I buy her first doll and pram because I've bought all my other girls them" so I firmly said no again. Fast forward to weeks later she just rocked up with a doll for her.. which clearly said "my 1st doll" on the box 🙃 She was there showing it off to my daughter who smiled at it... my husband said she will have just forgotten but I swear she knew what she'd done. I didnt take it out the box, we had words and I gave her it back. But she's waiting on me to buy her a doll so she can give her it because it "won't be the first anymore" 😏 Some say I'm just being over the top but it's really spoilt it for me.. I don't want her to have that doll out of principle now.

@Becki how would I handle the car seat situation because we live over an hour away from the hospital we are delivering at?

Just take breaks every 30 minutes @Kayla . It's a necessary travel though whereas visiting is not a necessity

@Kayla its a one off just make sure you sit in back to keep an eye on baby. if baby changes position and slumps forward then stop the car and then put them back in sat upright. https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/car-seats-and-sids/

@Becki thank you so much

Your baby does not need to know that that was their first stuffed animal lol. I wouldn’t even take it out the closet 😂. Take a deep breath! Unfortunately, that’s one of the many impositions she’s going to try and make.

I understand the feeling, but I agree that the best way to handle it will be to just give him whichever one you buy first. Realistically, the one that was purchased first is not his first teddy, the first one he is given is. Now if she knew that was something you wanted to do and did it anyway that is a different story.