SIL not mother in law but family always make excuses for her behaviour.
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If you know they are going to dismiss everything you say she's done and make excuses for her then I don't see the point of getting yourself all worked up to do that. My MIL expected me to kiss my SIL butt and tell her all our problems were my fault. I said F that. We haven't had a full family gathering in over 4 years because SIL refuses to be in the same room as us. We had a miscarriage in Dec 2021 and the day after she found out about our miscarriage she announced her pregnancy to rub it in our faces. I say enjoy your pregnancy and don't even worry about what they say or how they feel.
@Lauren this is the problem though, I don’t want to be around her and it’s causing issues with the family getting together. This weekend it was meant to be my husband, me and my MIL. BIL and SIL then invited themselves at the last minute. I feel like I’ve been ambushed and had no time to mentally prepare for SIL also being her. Because of this, I decided I wouldn’t go which caused a huge big drama and I’m now being told to get over it. What your SIL did is pure evil and I can see why you have done what you have xx
I would tell them to kiss your a$. I don't blame you for not going. They are just going to have to get over the fact that there won't be any full family get together. What does your husband say about you not wanting to be around her? Is he understanding and supportive of your decision or is he the one telling you to get over it?
@Lauren he is to a point but I know it puts him in the middle. I just want him to stand up to her and be like “no, you don’t treat my wife and her family like this” but it seems no one wants to call her out on her behaviour ever and the last thing I wanted to do was drag her through the mud with her own family who naturally are going to defend her.
If your husband isn't going to stand up for you then do it for yourself. But don't stress yourself out about it with you being pregnant. You have to put you and baby first in everything you do. If you feel the best action to take is to tell them what she's done then say your peace and be done. Then at least you've let them know why you feel the way you feel. But I wouldn't sit there and argue with them if they start making excuses
@Lauren these same people did nothing when she accused me of trying to have sex with her last year when I put her to bed when she was drunk so her mum wouldn’t go off on her when she found her asleep on the sofa. Like what has she got to do before I am allowed to be upset and want nothing to do with her?
That's ridiculous. I'm so sorry you have to deal with someone like that
My SIL hasn't done anything as extreme as yours, but I DEFINITELY feel your pain!! It's worse with my MIL; my FIL tends to actually agree with me, but MIL just wants me to forget everything because we're faaaaaamily, and that's the most important thing. God forbid her "strong and independent" baby girl (MIL has actually used "she was raised to be strong and independent" as an excuse for SIL when she decided to boundary-stomp all over my parenting) ever be expected to own up to her mistakes and apologize when she's wrong. 🙄
Id follow @Laurens advise they cn all kiss ur ass dont go to the gathering, ur sil sounds like a horrible bish and uv done right to cut her off. If she really wants to mke amends she can put the effort in and apologise fr all the nasty shite shes done. If not f her and the family members backing her up
None of them deserve to be in yours or your child's lives. Thats too much toxicity for you to be expected to take. Your husband needs to step up for your own family unit. I'm sorry that you're being put through this and I'm so sorry for your loss. Congratulations on your current pregnancy. 🫂
If, God forbid I ever lost a child like that, you best know that anyone in my life who didn’t reach out or wasn’t there for me, would NEVER be a part of my life again. Period. This is reason enough alone. Let alone all the other stuff she’s done and said. His family need to understand that. And if they don’t, that’s on them! Husband also needs to make that clear and stand by you x
I’m so sorry for you loss 💜💜
@Hannah she didn’t know what to say apparently. I had an honest conversation with MIL and told her some home truths and SIL got defended with the “well she was drunk”. If my dad had done what she did to her, you can guarantee “he was drunk” wouldn’t wash and it wouldn’t even wash with me. I also got told I’m causing a rift and with a baby coming into the family it can’t go on forever.
@Lauren I’m so sorry that’s so wrong. I had something similar happen but slightly different. All painful comments surrounding miscarriage,people suck. OP, that is so wrong of them to ambush you. I’d say go no contact until they can be sincerely nice and not cause you stress, or if your husband is not having your back and you’re considering divorce get out before baby. It’s much harder after. Your husband and you and your child are a family. In laws are now extended family. Where are his priorities? I get not wanting to be in the middle but where are you left while carrying his child? Most people’s families know how they are. If you don’t have support from your own household, it’s only going to get harder. They know what they’ve created I’ve seen it too many times up close and personal. Most of the time people just go crazy when babies come into the picture. But sit back and observe and decide what’s best for you and baby! Congratulations 🎊 wishing you inner peace and happiness
I wouldn’t forgive, hold your ground if you have to tell her family what she’s done then do it. Unfortunately I’m not on any speaking terms with my husbands sister because of things she has done and said about me, my husband and our children. Her family makes excuses for her but I don’t put up with it. I don’t need her in my life or my children’s life.