Husband doesn’t seem to find me attractive anymore

You can do better than him . He can't love your body in any shape of form then he's not for you. If you need someone to talk to just dm me and I'll be here for you thru the journey and advice

I feel like I’m in a similar boat. Postpartum we went 6 months without having sex. It’s been three months again and whenever I bring up our intimacy problems he tells me he wants to me intimate with me. But it just doesn’t make sense. We don’t kiss or cuddle. And he doesn’t sleep in the same room as me. Not sure if I should continue on in my relationship.

I think you guys should do counseling… or express to him how you’re feeling! No one should feel insecure about their bodies especially after a man has put a baby in them!

Dear poster, I am really sorry that you are having to go through this. I believe what your hubby needs is another sensible male figure that can hear out his concerns and talk to him about how all these is normal. The problem that men have is that they are not prepared enough for all these changes that occur through life. He can get therapy or speak to a sensible adult male and if he his not willing to do all these then you might have start reconsidering your options. Wish u all the best of luck

@Baylee have you told him how you felt?? Sometimes if it’s been to long for me , I demand it!!! Bc you chose me, and whenever I want it, you should give it to me or there will be consequences!!!!

@Anshakel yeah I have told him. It’s been a problem for over a year now. Probably two years. We do couples counseling but it doesn’t seem to help. :(

@Baylee DEMAND IT & be serious!!! It always works for me!! Or threaten him, I mean what can he do? Do you still use toys?

@Anshakel I’ve tried asking him face to face telling him I feel unwanted but it doesn’t work. There’s always an excuse from him. I don’t use toys no, I’ve given up and I feel like I’ve lost myself. I cried to him for over an hour today and I’m at the point I need to decide if I stay with him or not. I’m pregnant with our second child but I’m so unhappy. Even if he wanted to have sex with me now I’d probably say no because our relationship has turned toxic.

@Baylee sorry you’re having a similar issue. We also have the issue of no other intimacy - no holding hands, cuddling or kissing. The cuddling or kissing only happens when he wants me to perform oral sex so I’m left feeling quite used because it’s now been 6 months of this. Honestly, I’m not sure about you, but I feel like at some point something will have to change because it can’t be this way forever. Either some form of proper intimacy so you don’t just feel like a mum 24/7, or separation:(

@Baylee that’s horrible, I wouldn’t know how to handle this situation! Sex is my life! I couldn’t imagine going 1 month without let alone 2 years! Just dump me now bc I couldn’t do it!!

It’s horrible isn’t it :( it has made me feel unattractive, not worthy of it, not wanted or desired. I expressed to my partner today that I’m thinking separation is our best option. I don’t have any energy or effort left to give him. It’s so hard though because I’m pregnant with our second child and I’m only 23. I just feel like I’m too young to be dealing with these issues.

@Anshakel I have a huge sex drive too. I could do it every night but we go months and months without. It’s been rough, I feel like it’s ruining my soul, lol that sounds so dramatic but that’s how I feel.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. The problem is your husband, not your body. People feel close and intimate for lots of reasons other than visual stimulation. I would definitely stop pleasing him. He doesn’t find your stomach attractive? Well you don’t find his attitude attractive. In my opinion you either need counselling together and work on it or you seperate. You both made this baby, your body has done the best part of a year creating it and doing what it was intended for, you’re now in this period together too. For him to get what he wants and give nothing back is pure selfishness x

Have you tried the lingerie scenario?? @Baylee

@Baylee I really don’t know what could be the problem? I’m so lost because a vag is still a vag! He act as if you grew a d%#^ afterwards

@Anshakel yep. He even bought me lingerie and we haven’t used it once. I’ve worn it in front of him and I feel like he doesn’t even look at me. So I haven’t since. Haha yep it’s still a vag. He will say he loves mine when I comment he doesn’t want it. But what he says and what he does are two different things and don’t add up.

😮‍💨 this is tough, atp I think I would turn into a sex craved demon! Now I have to fight you bc you chose violence looks like to me!

@Anshakel haha sometimes I feel like that. But I’m too exhausted to get too worked up over it anymore. It’s more an internet battle and I don’t want to deal with it anymore. I’d rather be single and not be disappointed

I never knew women was going through things like this! 😳 it’s an eye opener to me! In my case it’s the other way around! It’s uncomfortable to have sex at times during pregnancy…. I mean I don’t mind giving oral but the sex part hurts 😫 it’s so painful!!! @Baylee

I don’t know whether it’s he doesn’t find you attractive. Some men worry about having intercourse and don’t want to hurt the baby. But then guys find it hard to voice their feelings and talk about this. Maybe you could mention it to him? Because holding it in and not talking about it will just cause a big eruption and an argument. I’m speaking from experience hah! Also it sounds maybe with you taking longer to heal he may not want to seem like he’s pressuring you into intercourse too soon and may be waiting for your lead first? I’d definitely talk to him so he knows your feelings and can understand how his actions are impacting you! We’ve all been there. And I think with raging hormones doesn’t help with overthinking and being anxious about things. I hope you’re able to talk about it with him xx

@Steph the poster is 12 weeks postpartum, she’s not pregnant.

Incog.... I'm sorry that he's doing this to you! His behaviour is disgusting and he needs to give his head a shake! Youre not the one that needs to change, its him. Youre a size 6 for crying out loud! How much slimmer does he want you to be? Are you expected to fit through the cracks in the pavement? I'm a 14 and I hate my belly after having 3 babies in a 3 year period with our youngest being 3 months old, my partner is all over me, if I express not to touch my belly coz its horrible he says to shut up coz he loves all of me and my belly more so because it grew his children. Your partners behaviour isn't acceptable! If my partner were here and he heard about your situation, he'd say to put your bloke in the bin because you can do a million times better! He's not going to change his abhorrent behaviour whilst you're still servicing him because it almost validates his behaviour because he's not getting any repercussions for his despicable behaviour towards you. .....

..... I'd stop all sexual contact until he could show the proper respect, affection and sexual reciprocation and desire for you. 🫂💜

@Baylee I thought it mentioned when she was pregnant too? Or have I got confused 🤣

@Steph yeah it did, that was my bad 😆 sorry haha

I’m so sorry guys! I only saw half of this post! I don’t know why! I saw the like the first bit not about him not finding your stomach attractive! I’m only reading the second half of the post…. My phone musnt have loads properly I’m so sorry! X

I’m so sorry that he’s doing this to you! I’d damn right not be happy if he’s openly saying and acting this way! I don’t know about anyone else’s partners but my fella said he finds me so much more attractive now I’ve given birth to his daughter and he has a new found love for me bringing his daughter into the world! There’s nothing unattractive about your body! You have created and brought something so beautiful into this world. I’d definitely put a sex ban on and I’d tell him to his face. I’d probably even finish it tbh. Now seeing the second half of the post. It’s not on! Especially when you’re trying everything you can do be intimate and close and he’s chucking it back in your face. You deserve better!

It is very selfish to ask you for oral and do nothing to please you. Covering your body is disrespectful, in my opinion. If he can’t handle a pregnant or postpartum body, talk about being child free beforehand. Your body made a baby for both of you, he is a father because of you and what you went through. Please stop giving him oral if he can’t even stand the sight of you

Leave his arse!! You can do better than him, he's a selfish twat!! You carried his child for 9 months of course your body will change!! Don't change anything about you for a man who doesn't appreciate!!!..... I bet you are absolutely fabulous ♡♡

Omg… sorry to say this but he’s such a selfish asshole… how can men get away with treating women (their partners, mother’s of their babies!?) in this way????? I’d have a really honest conversation with him… he’s the one with a problem, not you!!!

HOW DARE HE.Hes not mature at all and unducated.regardless if u looked like a whale things happen its natural bodies change.does he think hes gods gift.You are a better person that me to actually give him Oral for all those months while your pregnant thats not intimacy thats using u like a prostitute for his satisfaction n needs.have u ever felt like u make love b4 pregnacy or was it just sex u have o think.hes nasty....so he can get his satifisfaction but what about u.He should've just paid someone u are not a hoe.very disrespectful.if he don't wanna go for marital counciling then this relationship is over sorry.I can't believe he's body shaming you and degrading you like you're just a nut to hi.

Can you put yourself into his head space for a moment? Imagine if he was the one whose body had changed after having the baby. As weird as that is. Let’s say he had loose skin on his belly now, could you be cruel enough to shut him out sexually and just want him to give you oral for no intimacy in return and and expect him to be happy with that? Because if I did that to someone who I made a baby with, I would feel like such an arsehole and know deep down it’s wrong, covering someone’s body so you don’t have to see it. Body confidence is what is truly sexy, not your shape or size. And he is acting like you should be ashamed of yours! I’m so sorry that this is your situation

Stop trying so hard when he’s not only giving nothing, but being completely rude and disrespectful. Bringing a man’s child into this world will make sure his woman feels wanted and loved no matter what she looks like and especially if she feels insecure in her new body. I hated the way I looked and the weight but my husband always went out of his way to make me feel sexy and loved and adored. You shouldn’t settle for anything less than you deserve and he should be the one on his knees begging for forgiveness as you pack up you and your daughter and move to where you’re loved and appreciated for the goddess you are. Please learn and know your worth, covering your body is so disrespectful, I agree with Gigi. He’s shown you his true colors. Would you want this type of person treating your daughter this way? You deserve so much more! I’m sorry you’re going through this