Found screenshots of my friends on his phone…
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Ok so as someone who has been cheated on , I know this hurts a lot . Your feelings are valid , and you are allowed to take some time to try to process his wondering eye . So I would say to take some time to process the disloyalty , maybe talk with him more about it if it’s on your mind a lot and explain your feelings as you go forward so he understands more and can try to help rebuild that trust again . To try to rebuild your relationship which is clearly having a waning period due to stress , make sure you both take time to have together to become close again and if this disloyalty continues to get in the way of that try to draw a line in the sand and reassess your boundaries and how your both going to ensure you follow them in a way that is reassuring for your relationship. Trust is mostly a leap of faith ,that once broken its difficult to take that jump again without feeling like it will get you hurt again, but it can be done if you’re both willing to take the time .
It's hard trying to find the positive. But it seems like when you discussed it with him he did act on attempting resolution such as deleting the pics and deleting social media. And also doing therapy. On the inside it's definitely hard to get past these moments and it takes time so maybe give it the time it needs. I'm sorry this has happened. Maybe you both take time to make positive and connecting conversation and time together which could lead to more intimacy as you both make the effort.
This is a tough one. It’s not some random influencers pics he has they’re literally people you know….very strange imo. Did you see the conversations that they were having?
I’m sorry you’re going through this. But take care of yourself and your baby first. Your baby come first. Prioritize yourself!
Definitely tension between yall if yall cant even have little conversations anymore. I know you want your marriage to work so you definitely have to initiate the conversation unfortunately, even though you just had a baby. Take some deep breaths and calmly tell him how you feel about everything the good the bad and the ugly and how he really has hurt your feelings, trust and damper your loyalty with his actions and sneakiness. Ill be raw and vulnerable at this point with him then hear his side and hear him out. Communication honesty and understanding can lift a lot of hurt and confusion. Then tell him you really wanna work on this relationship and listen to reasonable suggestions he haves and that you have and if both of yall try im sure the relationship be back and better!!
i found screenshots of my bf on my husband phone he said he was making fun of them but idk he was sending them to his bf but my bf hates him 🥲 so i feel your situation in a bit at least he was honest i’d say just have that communication open with him and know that you want to work on it
It’s not ur fault remember it’s his fault he needs to gain your trust again don’t blame ur self just because he needs more hugs etc doesn’t give him excuse to chat to people and save up close photos of others he needs to be there more u just had a baby pregnant 9+ months etc. it’s not ur fault, u are the one who needs hugs kisses and pampering SMH
@Jorden they weren’t even deep fulfilling conversations. They were just small comments on his photos or comments on their photos. One could be a little emoji or another could be “that’s awesome”. Nothing big at all. Just a notification he looked forward to receiving from these girls if he posted something or if they posted something.
Sorry you are going through this post partum. But I’m still confused. He had pictures of their faces ? Like loads? Why? Still confused how him looking for a connection means having pictures of your friends faces on his phone. Seems off. Like there’s more to it.
@AmyRuth i agree. I asked him what the point of him having pictures of them in his phone was… and close up ones… and he said he felt like having them in his phone was more personal than looking at them on Instagram. The pictures were just their faces. One of them had their tongue out so my mind immediately questioned if he was masturbating to them and he said he wasn’t but I still question that one. It’s very disturbing to me, still. But he says he didn’t and he just had them in his phone so he could basically pretend these relationships were deeper or more personal. Even while I write this I feel like he has some sort of weird deeper issue
I see. That’s extremely disturbing. Makes no sense and I’m sure the women would be horrified to know there are close up pictures of them on your man’s phone. I don’t know how I could move on from that either. So I have no advice. ☹️
I’ve had a similar issue with mine but he only took a social media break and then after a couple months he got back on but every time he stays on his phone a lot or is in the bathroom with it for a while I have those feelings again and he isn’t very sympathetic about breaking my trust repeatedly he just tells me I have to trust he’s not doing it again. Kinda contradicting but ya. It’s been a couple years or so since my issue began though.
It’s really hard to bypass those feelings when they come
@Chastity yessss! I feel the same. When he goes into the bathroom with his phone and he’s been in there for a while my mind starts wandering into these dark places. What is he doing in there that’s taking so long? What is he even looking at? It’s super annoying.
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Mine used to lock himself in the bathroom and look at other women and their pages and take screenshots and “enjoy” himself for like an hour…he would even do it while we were on vaca with the kids or stop on the way home. I was ALWAYS in the mood and offered so it wasn’t cause he wasn’t getting it in my end.
If you both want to work on it than its worth it. If you feel you can move past it, you will be able to look at him again assuming he does what he needs to do to regain your trust. I went through a similar situation last year and I chose to end it. Every situation is different good luck to you both
Hi Sarah, Sorry for what you’re going through. I’m a Life Coach and I’ve worked with moms who’ve gone through similar versions of this. I just wanted to offer you some reflective questions that came up as I read your post. - What are you making it mean about you that this happened? - What are you making it mean that you haven’t been intimate yet? - How might it shift things if you allowed yourself to grieve the version of marriage that you hoped to have and lost? - How can you practice what forgiveness will feel like as you move forward in your marriage? Second, I would recommend getting a journaling practice going if you can squeeze it in during these early newborn days. Allow yourself to process what you’re feeling and thinking. And write about what it might be like to move forward, and how and what you need to feel forgiving, if that’s what you want to do. Best of luck to you, and message if you want to chat ❤️
Sorry you are going through this. That’s though. Especially when there is some sort of evidence. I would say give him a chance, when you think about how “disloyal” he was. Maybe think about something good you guys have gone through? Idk the first time you met, or the reason why you wanted to be together? Therapy hopefully will help. But it’ll be hard as you won’t ever be able to trust him 100%..