How to politely decline babysitting offer

Posting this here as I think a lot of mamas will see it. My mother in law always offers to babysit my little one when me and hubby are going to go out as a family. For example… today we are going out shopping and she offered in person last night, they were over at our house for dinner, I politely declined, and then I also made my husband text her last night just to confirm… now she texted me this morning saying “Leave xxx with us today. It is raining”

I’m not sure about all moms, but I think some can relate… I actually like taking my baby around with me when I run errands, go shopping, grocery shopping, basically anything and everything that is a part of my life I like to take along my little one with me, mind you she is now one years old, so she doesn’t have colic or constantly need to be held😂 anyways, how can I navigate this situation?

I dress my child according to the weather, it is May, it is not the cold of winter. She sounds like I’m brining my newborn out during the winter in the crack of dawn.

I texted her this.
“If it was cold we wouldn’t have gone out anyways. I’m bringing rain jackets. Xxx is coming with us. Thank you though.”

I know she means well blah blah yes she’s a nice lady but it is annoying🤷🏻‍♀️

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I’m really close to my MIL so I always appreciate the offer and personally find it’s easier and quicker to do the jobs without taking her with us all the time! Plus some alone grown up time once a week or so doesn’t go amiss! X

Maybe plan something nice with your husband and ask her to babysit then. I’m the same as you, I’m sure she’s just trying to help

It is sweet that she’s offering, however I completely understand that it can be annoying as you already let her know that you’d be taking your baby. You’re also obviously going to be mindful of the weather for your baby’s sake.
Maybe have your husband speak to her and let her know that you guys will keep her offer in mind and will let her know if you want her to babysit at some point, but that you’re not ready to leave her with anyone else just yet.

I think a firm - we are taking xxxx with us this time but if we do ever want you to babysit we will be sure to let you know when we feel it’s necessary

“Thank you for offering to help us, we really appreciate it but it is not needed today. 😄”

That’s what I would say!

These are all so helpful! I’m glad I asked😊 thank you mamas💕

It sounds like you're doing it right. I'm sure she just wants some extra time with her grandbaby. Maybe plan something really special for you and hubby and she can take baby then. It is really good for you to take baby with you when you do things though. It teaches them about the world and your habits and how they should interact with the public.

I had to deal with this with my own mum (MIL lives abroad) asking to look after my baby boy since the day he’s born! I’ve had to make clear over and over again that he was/is still too small to be left with them without me. There’s so much to navigate - feeds, nappies, naps, resisting naps (!). I started having her over at mine during the day (she can wfh) so she can be around baby but also see how challenging it is if left with baby even for a few hours. I’d pop upstairs or to the shops etc. Now she doesn’t ask to babysit alone 😂 but does constantly ask me to come round with him.

We dealt with this for over a year. They finally stopped hounding us about it. It’s annoying. I’d say “we know you’re willing to watch babe and you’ll be the first person to know when we need you to“ I think I had to say it 50 times though.

And if anyone made a comment about how I shouldn’t be taking my baby out because of the weather… I’d have a snarky response. “I know it’s going to rain. That’s why we’ll be taking babe out in just his swimsuit today. In case he gets wet”. But I’m kind of a bitch.

Glad to know I’m not alone in dealing with this kinda situation!

I wish I had people to offer. I have to ask. lol. Sometimes we take what we have for granted. Just saying 💁🏻‍♀️ I can’t see why it’ll be annoying for people in your life to truly care about your baby and would wanna babysit. Coz many mamas don’t even have that option.

All I get from this is that she is just being a grandma and you are shutting her down every chance you get.

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

Are these men ok?

I get so sad seeing all the posts on here daily about women dealing with partners who are treating them horribly. I know it seems over represented because those of us with great partners don’t need to write posts asking for help, but I really hope most of us don’t have these kinds of men in our lives!

I tell my husband about these posts I see sometimes and he’s even shocked by some of the things these guys say/do.

Nobody’s perfect, and every relationship takes work. And becoming parents is a stress test unlike any other for sure, but seeing how many women get stuck in these relationships with men who aren’t interested in being better is so so sad😞

But is/was your partner helpful, loving, and supportive during your pregnancy/PP/etc? Was he a wonderful person but changed for the worst after becoming a parent? Has he put effort into becoming the partner you need him to be, even if he struggles?

Pouches

I’m not one of those mums who stand in the kitchen making every meal from scratch and batches of healthy snacks as I simply do not have time with other children and soon back to a full time job, but I do try give my weaning baby part of what we eat at meal times and will throw something healthy together if what we eat isn’t suitable. However, I do have some pouches in for convenience or a last resort. I’ve only used these a few times in the space of two months but she absolutely LOVES them. She will scream for more, get excited when she sees the pouch and will literally eat the whole thing. She’s underweight so this is massive for me seeing her eat so well, but the guilt is getting to me a bit! Anybody else like a little pouch every now and then and can make me feel a little better about giving her them😅