Relationship built on lies

Wait wait so he had a live in girlfriend when you two got engaged?

@Monét she left a week before we got engaged and she was unaware of us getting engaged because he says their relationship already ended 6-7 months before but they were just living together. He also told me that they used to sleep in the same bed when I asked but never engaged in sex after they ended the relationship I know it’s very weird and I feel strange hearing all this. I am very confused what this means

Okay so how long were you dating before getting engaged? Because how was he able to keep up dating you and WHY would it ever be appropriate to date a woman while sharing a bed with another at home. Major flags. How long ago was all of this? Not sure if the exact timeline but it all seems very very quick and that is *def* a red flag.

@Monét I was only speaking to him over calls and video calls we met a a few times in between so we dated for 5-6 months before getting engaged and got married after 6 months.

I had an idea that he might be hiding something but he lied and kept me blindsided

Yeah he definitely moved super quickly and he doesn’t sound like he can be trusted. That’s a huge lie and the timeline being so short is concerning. I’d start questioning what else you don’t know

Very scary honestly especially with the short timeline of dating

@Monét I agree that it is a big lie. But his family got over it very quick they don’t know the whole story anyway. I feel too ashamed to tell anyone about the situation because everybody going to judge me how come I din’t know but what could I have done when other person is lying how would you know. I just want more woman’s opinion on this.

His family isn’t married to him and his family wasn’t lied to so his family’s opinion does not and should not affect yours imo. You don’t even have to tell anyone you don’t wish to, but I would be careful. He painted a picture. you didn’t spend much time together in person, you didn’t stay at his place or even see his place, and you met and got married within a year. The flags were all there

My exhusband lied to everyone (including his current wife, friends and his entire family) and told everyone that he married me for a green card. That was just the tip of the iceberg. Girl, run! Get an annulment if you can for fraud. And run as fast as you can. I promise you, whatever you just listed is not the whole story. You will NEVER be able to trust someone who has lied to you about such things. My exhusband is being investigated by homeland security as well as local authorities for money laundering. GET OUT. ✈️

@Cory how pathetic these kind of men are and I am sure not all men are the same.

Seems like you moved very fast, unfortunately 😕 Don’t have a ton of advice, but I would trust your gut. For me personally, I would have a seriously hard time trusting anything he says or does.

I'd get a divorce under misinformation/false pretences. I'm sorry that he's so fake, I'm not surprised that you no longer know what to believe.

So I have been in a very similar situation n my advice is to leave. There are more lies he is hiding for sure. Trust me save yourself the hassle n leave sooner rather then later. Message me if you want to talk BEEN THERE still in it 🥺

Sleeping in the same bed but not having sex???? Yeah he's full of something! I think the only chance to believing his story, is to have her verify it. But make sure you can have a real conversation, unhindered by his bribing or coaching her. Id bet everything he's lied about their time -lines and was dating you at the same time. Regardless, get yourself a therapist and get your head straight. Because he sounds fishy and hasn't been truthful.

Thanks for the support ladies 🙏🙏

I just wanted to add that homeland security is no joke. And it’s obvious that your guy is deceptive. Homeland security officials came to interview me after someone reported my exhusband and had recordings of him saying he married me for a green card. 4 years after our divorce and both of us remarried, homeland security was still trying to accuse me of being willfully blind to his actions, which is a crime. If my mom were not a lawyer, I’m sure they would have tried to charge me with something. Don’t get dragged down with him. 🏃‍♀️💨

I don’t where to start from and how do I apply for a divorce and do I have enough finances 🥲

It depends on your location. If you’re in the US, research legal aid in your area. There are some blogs that can walk you through the divorce process and paperwork if you feel like it would be a peaceful separation and you can file for divorce without having a lawyer (that’s what I did since my mom couldn’t represent me). Get a consultation with a family law attorney, and hopefully they can point you in the right direction.

I live in the UK and he doesn’t want a divorce he says he loves me and I am sure he does but I don’t love him and it’s like I have suffered a lot mentally and don’t want to continue.