Husband adding ex on instagram?
So my husband’s ex just showed up in my suggestions on instagram and I saw that my husband is following her. I checked his profile and saw that she was following him too. They were in a serious relationship for 2 years. Shes married too and has a child. Me and my husband have two kids. I asked him why he added her and he just said it wasn’t a big deal. He tried to play it cool by saying shes married and has a husband I’m married and have a wife. Whats the big deal. I said it was very random for him to just add her. He added her a few months ago apparently. I want to add that I am in now way controlling or insecure. He has female friends that Im cool with and they even talk sometimes but I know they’re respectful, but adding his ex didnt seem right to me. Its like he wants to keep tabs on her. Because why else would he add her? Is there any other reason to add your ex? He said they never spoke and that she messaged him sending condolences to him for his moms death. I looked at the messages but theyre not there. Im assuming he deleted them. He’s cheated on me in the past but said he was ashamed and was never going to do anything to hurt our family. He said he was even willing to go for marriage counselling. He said he was going to do anything for the kids. No doubt he is a good dad but I for some reason cant trust him as a husband. I was getting back to normal after he cheated back in 2021. But now he recently added his ex. He does posts pictures of me and the kids on his insta and writes sweet captions. Should I be concerned about him adding his ex out of the blue?
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I’m a firm believer in trusting your gut. But that’s personally just me. It’s sketchy to me that there’s no messages when he claims it was just a condolence message.
Personally speaking I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it. I don’t have any ex’s of mine on my socials as they are people of the past and an ex for a reason, no matter how positive / negative it ended with them, I don’t have them on there as 1) I don’t want to see what their doing, I also don’t want them seeing what I’m doing and 2) I don’t have them on there out of respect for my husband. I just find it pointless having them on there especially if they don’t speak? I’m like you say it’s like their having them on there to see what their up to and keep updated on their lives and I just don’t understand it. Their both in new relationships now with children, why do they need each other on there?
I trust my ex with my whole entire life too and I still wouldn’t like it if he had an ex on there, but I think that’s due to my past as my ex cheated on me a lot and there’s always that 1% of me that worries due to being hurt.
I think due to your husband being unfaithful in the past and how this is all making you feel the best thing is to be honest and chat about how due to past events it makes you feel really uncomfortable. He’s your husband and he should respect your feelings and have no issue with removing her from his socials. Your marriage and your feelings are so valid and important 🩷 it doesn’t make you controlling at all, some people aren’t bothered by these things and some people are, every relationship is different. No matter what your husband should always respect your feelings and it’s always good and healthy to voice how you’re feeling about certain things too xxx
I’d be concerned. It’s concerning behaviour. It’s also inappropriate for a married man AND married woman to add each other as ex’s. He deleted the msgs, so that’s also a red flag. Did he get upset at all when you brought this up to him? Or was he pretty calm about it? Sometimes you can tell when someone’s being honest or not by their reactions…
I think it could possibly be innocent, but that doesn’t really matter here. What matters is it makes you uncomfortable. If it’s innocent and not that big of a deal, it should be easy for him to unfollow her and have no contact with her. After his past issue, your comfort is number one in this situation. You’re not saying he can’t have female friends. He should be able to accommodate this request
I have exes. He has exes. No new adds since we got together though. That would piss me off because same for the history.
And if he's the one that broke the trust, it is NOT your job to fix it, it's his.
I think this is concerning. What bother me is that after you asked him about it, he should have said, “this bothers you? I’m so sorry and completely understand…” and then he should have immediately removed/blocked her.
Instead, he deflected. With your husbands past (of which I am VERY familiar what that’s like) I would invite him into having an honest conversation about what’s going on.
I would also check his deleted text folder in his iMessage app if he has an iPhone.
Go with your gut, it's not your job to get him to show he's trustworthy, that something he should have done. If he's cheating once and he actually sorry then this would be an absolute no no
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