😭

It’s a long one.. when me and my boyfriend met in 2020 he had a daughter who he doted upon who was 3. He hadnt been with her mother for over a year when I met him so there was no cross over. We were together over a year and we fell pregnant. We were both very excited, however he went and slept with his ex, and got her pregnant. So we now have 2 boys who are 8 weeks apart. I forgave him, and spent my whole pregnancy trying to move on from what he’d done. Our little boy arrives and I fell in love with my boyfriend all over again because he was showing me how we were the priority. 20 months on, my little boy is thriving and his two other children stay with over night once a week. I’ve now just found out he’s been cheating the whole way through with another girl. So I ended things between us yesterday. I haven’t kicked him out of the house solely because he has no where else to go and his mum is currently in hospital. But I’ve said it’s short term and he needs to find somewhere else to live. Then today.. I’ve just found out that I am pregnant again. For the past 8/9 months we’ve not been trying but not preventing and sort of been a ‘when the time is right it’ll happen’ type thing. Only now, he’s literally just screamed in my face that he doesn’t want the baby. I don’t know what to do, I have no intentions of getting back together with him, but it’s hurt me even more him saying he’s been lying for the past few months saying he wanted another child to keep me happy. Im really in two minds about what to do. I want this baby, I’m an only child who lost her step dad and not having anyone to relate to made it 10x harder. So I want my little boy growing up with siblings he knows will always be around and someone he can grow up with. But the thought of doing it on my own 2 under 3 also terrifies me. I think I’m just venting at this point so if you’ve got this far, thanks for reading. 😭