Hey ladies 💓 I need some opinions . Do you think it’s a waste of time to be in a relationship with someone knowing that’s it’s no real intentions for it to go anywhere?

Yes this sounds pointless. Break ups don't have to be bad (I.e from cheating). Y'all don't sound compatible and staying together knowing that is wasting both of your times.

If marriage is something that is uncompromising for them then it won't work in my opinion. Because if you give in to "save the relationship" you could be miserable or resentful and vice versa. It's ok to love someone and realize you're not meant for each other. I lost someone like this.

Honestly a lot of people don’t need to be married to stay with one person and have a family with them.
But you have to openly discuss that. If that’s even something they are wanting to even talk about then I’d end it and find someone else or be single for a little while to find what you are truly looking for

Sis… it’ll be easier to answer this question if you ask yourself this? Is this what you want for life or you’re comfortable until your person comes? Because are you okay with some of those key points ? - For life?

Personally I say it’s no point is unfair. It’s a waste of time. Marriage isn’t always the answer but insulting and disrespecting each other also isn’t the answer and sis you should get yourself out or let him go.

He’s gonna want marriage but you don’t and you can’t give that to him (as you stated it’s not something you may want) so don’t hold him back cause you’re comfortable- this is alll unlesssss y’all spoke about this then shiiii enjoy

I’m sorry , we don’t insult or disrespect each other we are great together . We have a whole blended family . The thing is I don’t want to be married to him or have a baby with him. I love him and he loves me. We both do for each other and no one is unhappy it’s just when the topic of marriage is brought up it become uncomfortable.

Forgive me if this sounds rude, because I truly don't mean for it to...but if you don't want to marry or have children with him, what's the point of being together? It seems to me that you'd be better off just being friends. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I mean, what happens if one of you meet someone else who is more in line with what each of you want (example, he meets someone who wants to get married and have children)? Would you really expect to stay "together" and potentially wind up resenting each other because you never got what you truly wanted?

Personally, it's not a situation I would be okay with. BUT that's not to say it absolutely cannot work for y'all, because everyone is different. If this is something y'all are able to talk through and work out, more power to you.

That means one of them is settling, and life is too short for that.

Is it that you don’t want to marry and have kids at all, or is it specifically with him? I think if you don’t want marriage in general, then there’s nothing wrong with staying together and that being the dynamic of your relationship, so long as he’s okay wit that. Relationships can look different. However, if you want to be married, just not to him, I would leave now. Why settle or become more attached if you know it isn’t forever.

not trying to sound rude either but y'all didn't discuss these type of topics before getting serious? I literally asked people their views on kids, marriage, etc before I ever got super serious because there's some things that I won't compromise on.

not rude at all . The point of staying because we have a great bond , communication , adventure, love, and share a whole little blended family. I stay because he makes me happy and I make him. I just don’t want marriage or to have a baby with him.

I don’t want to marry or have a baby with him. I have 2 children by 1 man . He have 2 children by 2 different women. I don’t want to be baby momma #3 or be tied to a man who clearly shows he creates families and leave. Now what ever that reason is why he didn’t stay I just don’t want to be stuck

I feel that. I don’t see any harm in enjoying the relationship as long as it lasts and you’re happy. But be sure not to hold yourself back from finding your person and taking something else to that next level.

of course , it’s been 3 years and in the beginning I came into this with clear expectations and intentions. Over a course of 3 years things have happened, true behaviors have started to surface
and none of which were disrespectful or degrading to each other . It’s just a matter of understanding and realizing this is not someone I would want to have a child with or be tied to in a marriage. Life adversities and trials and tribulations. Ok. But to be stuck with someone in that way is not something I aspire to do.

oh hun it sounds like you really don't want to be in that relationship lol. It sounds like you are just accepting/settling what is because of history but in my opinion you are holding yourself back from finding your true love.

you could be right About me not really wanting to be in this relationship🤷🏽‍♀️

your responses are spot on and very helpful and meaningful. You’re right.

girl go find ya TRUE LOVE please lol.

I think it totally depends on the people but I would consider that an incompatibility because I don't think either party should compromise on what they want. For me, personally, not wanting to get married would be a dealbreaker because there are certain legal and financial protections that I consider necessary that come with marriage (the ability to make medical decisions for one another in the event of a medical emergency, spousal social security benefits, etc.). I wouldn't be comfortable being in a partnership with someone who wasn't on the same page about that.

Not a waste of time unless marriage is something you want in life

@Mikara "I don’t want to marry or have a baby with him. I have 2 children by 1 man . He have 2 children by 2 different women. I don’t want to be baby momma #3 or be tied to a man who clearly shows he creates families and leave. Now what ever that reason is why he didn’t stay I just don’t want to be stuck" 🙄I don't mean to sound rude but that's ridiculous. He's wasting his time because you think that about him and that's not even cool to be with a man if you think he creates families and them leaves. If he wants marriage and another child, that's also another reason why he'd be wasting his time with you. YOU are wasting your own time and blocking your own blessings. A whole man might come along and change your entire perspective.

Waste of time 💯… unless you think you could be ready for what he wants and he’s willing to wait.

Nothing is really a “waste of time”. The question is if you’re at peace in the relationship or not. Everything doesn’t have to lead to marriage…but if marriage is what he wants, if I was him, I would reconsider the relationship, tbh

*just read your other replies and agree, this is probably not the relationship that’s best for you