Intimacy with husband
Just looking for advice as to how to get the intimacy back with my husband. Before our LO came along we would have sex several times a week, always cuddled on the sofa and other acts of affection. But since LO has come along I just don’t want to be touched. To start with it was being worried it was going to hurt having sex but now we have found a way/position that suits and doesn’t get too uncomfortable. But now I just feel disgusting I guess. I absolutely hate how my body looks. I’ve always had issues with the way I look but obviously with having a baby I’ve now got excess weight which 4 months later still hasn’t budged, if anything I’ve put more weight on! So now I feel my husband is starting to resent me a little because I’m not up for sex all the time. It’s completely switched from where I used to be the one that wanted it all the time but now it seems he is and I feel like a horrible person when he tries to make a move or suggests it and I turn him down 😩 We also very rarely have any kind of affection, no hugs/cuddles and only a kiss when we go to bed.
Not sure the reason for this post really just a little vent and I guess to see if anyone has any advice that might help us to get back some sort of intimacy.
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
Honestly, I could have written this myself. I’m not sure that I have any advice other then a conversation with your husband about how you’re feeling?
My personal situation is that I’m just tired all the time, it’s so much work looking after a little one and taking care of the house…maybe if he helped me more I’d actually be in the mood. Not sure if your husband is like this but mine expects me to want it the second that he does and it just doesn’t work that way for me. It’s funny how there is all this effort in the beginning of the relationship with romance and helping our but when we really need it most it’s just not available from them. Now I’m just ranting 😅
My advice would be to show in other ways, so like get his clothes out ready for work and tell him you love him every day. It won't always be like this, but make him aware of how you are feeling as well so you don't start to drift apart. Also praise him often, but not in a patronising way ❤️
We have tried to make it a habit of going to bed together and with the little one in her cot. That time together mostly just hugging is great. Sometimes it does led to more. Unless the baby wakes up
You need to look yourself in the mirror every day and say 3 kind things about yourself. Our bodies have changed so much recently and I am struggling with the same but then I think about what I would say if a friend would tear themselves down in front of me. Baby body or not, you're still you and you need to build your confidence up again. When you feel confident in your body then it might bring back your libido a bit. Until then be kind to yourself. The fact that your long term sleep deprived probably also doesn't help! X
Download the Peanut App
