Heartbreak
After years of trying, months of back and fourth on the fate of our marriage, indecision, fights. The whole enchilada my husband and I are separating, divorcing. Whatever. I'm so goddamn heart broken. I feel like it's a death and I'm in mourning. We have a 3 year old son and currently and for the foreseeable we are going to coparent and live together. This makes things harder because neither one of us can really move on but it's how it is. He understands and he's trying to heal too. But I can't understand why now that things are over he can be kind. He's been more amazing in the last week since I ended things than ever. Why couldn't he do that when we were together for years I begged for change, we saw a counselor I tried everything and he just wouldn't. Now he seems to turn a switch and be able to just do it all. But it's too late. My heart aches. My body aches. Love sucks.
Partner works incredibly long hours, how much do they help out?
I'm struggling. Have been for a while. I've had one break from parenting my daughter, that was for 3 hours in December when I left her with her dad.
She's 14 months old and I'm just tired. I've done every night by myself. He's out of bed at 4am and doesn't get home until 7-9pm. He drives for work, very physically tiring.
On the weekends he was doing 6 days, one weekend day off, but now has both off.
He doesn't sit on the floor and play with her, he doesn't read to her because he says she doesn't have the patience.
He will pick her up and hold her whilst he's cooking.
Recently I've been "snappy" with him.
He got back from the mechanic last weekend, she was getting onto the sofa and he put his headphones on and started to watch Netflix on his phone.
The same day I told him I was going to run her bath and to watch her whilst she was still eating, he fell asleep on the sofa.
Today he went to football after going shopping, so was out 1-3 and then from 4-8.
He got back and I was snappy.
"I don't get why you're so snappy with me"
I said - Probably because I haven't had a break since December.
"Do you think I don't know you haven't had a break. I haven't had a break", "I just won't go to work, I'll sit at home all day".
Then "do you think I like not having a connection to my child"... But that's on him? He never sits to play with her. He "doesn't see the point". He's stated that this age is boring to him.
Since she's been born, he has been to a friend's once a month. Football - He stopped going for 7months, but has been the last two weekends.
Are these not breaks?
He does do the washing/washing up/cooking/vacuuming when I haven't had a chance to; but I'm the one in charge of feeding her, naps/bedtime, teeth brushing, hair brushing, baths, dressing her, making sure she has the right shoes, appointments etc. Everything falls on me.
If your partner works ridiculously long hours, how much do they look after your child? Do you ever get a break?
