How would u feel?

Lol I’m laughing because this triggers the crazy in me. I personally would lose it on him and her. Naive is one thing but this sounds deliberate on his part. A way to entertain a fantasy he might have and there’s no way in hell I’d be cool with a man who decided to put a baby in me and blow me up to the size of a whale, sacrificing my body and sanity, so he can take on a side piece?! Catch me on a episode of Snapped

The fact that she said “I wish you were the father of my child” is WILDDD. That to me is emotional cheating. Men typically think cheating is just physical so they let intimate texts and convos like this slide. But it’s absolutely not okay for him to be entertaining this

girl let me tell u.. i was crying and shaking because I can’t fight no one since my mindset is focused on making sure this baby is protected 24/7. But his “best friend” threatened me and told me other shit to me and that I’m playing victim 🤔and that girl’s little sister (i personally don’t care what she had to say cause she didn’t know what was going on but she called me an ugly a** b**** and obviously said I’m insecure. And it makes me laugh cause basically the girl herself can’t fight for herself and gets other people to do her dirty work and wants to play innocent. And idk if they know i have siblings too so if i were to have told my younger sister about it to handle her sister… 😮‍💨. But i can handle my battles in a mature way for now.

imma send the photo of it hold on.

Totally inappropriate. He shouldn't have close female friends if you are his chosen woman. You are the one he chose to be devoted to and have a child with, not her. I understand not cutting her out completely, I have a guy friend that I've known literally forever and I haven't cut him out completely. But I have boundaries, and we don't text all the time or text inappropriately about our relationship (inappropriate doesn't just mean "naughty", it also means anything beyond the boundaries of the relationship). But just because he's choosing to keep her in his life does not mean he gets to be devoted to her like that. Sounds like they are all kinda gaslighting you, you aren't crazy.

oh and he was hiding the messages as if i wasn’t going to find out 😑.

I was like eh until she said “I wIsH yOu WeRe tHe FaThEr oF mY cHiLd” 🥴 absolutely not.

Hell nah they both need to count their days 🙂 start protecting your heart and mind now and build a strong mental fortitude for your child. You’re going to need a lot of strength to navigate this. It’s either he gets with the program or he gets tf out. So tired of seeing women getting the WORST mental and emotional treatment in their MOST vulnerable time in life by the SAME man who put them in their most vulnerable time. Those men do not deserve the miracle and the sacrifice you are going through to provide their legacy. If he doesn’t get it together please do not hesitate to separate for your mental and emotional health and the babies mental and emotional health.

i forgot to mention it wasn’t like a just now situation it happened about 2 weeks ago and because of how many of his friends are slowly finding out and telling me how toxic i am to him and immature just still bothers me and idk how he’s handling the situation. I wanted him to leave when she was saying all that but we talked about EVERYTHING and i was giving him a reality check. I told him that if he wants to do all that then i might as well take care of our child on my own. Like i was really hurt and angry and emotional that i told him that i didn’t want him at the hospital when she’s about to come, i didn’t want his name on the birth certificate, i didn’t want him near her, etc. cause of what happened. And low key even if we’re ok now, i still feel some type of way about it. I still can’t stop thinking about it. But we gave each other space in household that he was sleeping on the couch while i was sleeping in the room and i didn’t get out unless i ate and used the bathroom.

this was my worst state throughout my pregnancy… I’m just glad to know I’m not crazy.

I personally don’t expect his friends to like me or hate me cause the only thing i care about is my child. I don’t expect my friends to like or hate him either cause again.. the most important thing is our little family. And the difference between my friends and his is that my friends are mature enough to tell me who’s in the wrong whether it’s me or him and they don’t talk bad about him at all they just tell me for example like “i don’t know him like that so i can’t really say anything except that he needs to get his priorities straight and focus on the family he’s about to have.” That’s all my friends being mature. On the other hand his friends are like “she’s so toxic i could of told u that she’s not good around and she’s being immature and she better not say anything to us cause we’ll tell her off.” So yea I’m not expecting to be liked from anyone nor expected to be hated on. It’s just life in my eyes.

So, does she have a child? Because it sounds like she's saying her baby daddy sucks and isn't really present and seeing your man with your baby/pregnancy makes her wish she had someone like him. Not saying that that's okay or that that wouldn't trigger tf out of me.. but maybe she meant it innocently. Either way, I would be pissed off about this.. especially the part about him being on the phone with her for HOURS and not even hearing you when you talk to him. That's not cool at all. I've never been one to give a shit that my partner has female friends, but if it escalated to THIS level, I would ABSOLUTELY have a huge problem with it. That's not fair to you or to your family at all.

supposedly my partner and his best friend has said that her baby daddy doesn’t want anything to do with their child but i don’t really know unless i see it or hear it for myself and when they used to be on FaceTime her baby daddy seemed fine in my eyes. Like my partner and him was getting along. But they’re also saying he’s abusive but i never heard of when it’s ever occurred. Yet i got told he also doesn’t leave her side like he’s loyal. So I’m confused with that and that’s why i got mixed messages with it.

but again, innocent or not, that’s something that should not be said to someone even if you’re in a relationship already and if someone else is having a family of their own. Like i would never say anything like that to someone. That’s so messed up and still disrespectful to that person’s relationship.

Like I said, I would definitely be upset, and I think you have every right to be. Even if she did mean it innocently, she needs to figure out how to word that better.

Omg I’ve experienced clingy girl bffs before it’s so annoying. The logical reason is you’re not comfortable with it and you’re his woman so that really should be end of story? But i mean if he wants more of a reason no woman should be telling their man that they wish their baby daddy was them…. Let alone AT 2AM.

But wait y’all ok now? Did you get a chance to talk about what’s comfortable for both of you? He doesnt technically need to cut off from her but boundaries would be good…

yea i agree!

that’s what i was trying to tell him and he was basically saying that the reason isn’t logical 🙃. Like i told him it has nothing to do with logic it’s basic respect in the relationship. If i don’t feel ok with u talking to someone, handle it. If u don’t feel ok with me talking to someone, I’ll handle it no problem. It’s basic respect of the relationship. And we had a long talk after she started to mention our daughter cause i was about to break his face for allowing her to talk about our child and kick him out and so we took a breather and sat down and talked about everything. So we’re ok for now. It’s still bothering me time to time mentally cause the more that his friends are finding out, the more they think I’m the bad person…

one of his friends found out like… yesterday and i was talking to her just fine a few days ago telling her like “i can’t wait for u to see the baby!” “Look at the 3D ultrasounds she looks just like him!”, etc. and i saw he didn’t tell her everything about the situation and said i sound immature and toxic and that i better not say nothing to her cause she doesn’t play… like… ? We were just having a normal conversation and now all of a sudden I’m a bad person…

I would be VERY PISSED. I think it’s okay to have platonic friends BUT the “I wish you were my baby’s father” does not seem platonic to me and the talking all the time. My x boyfriend had a very close female friend he had for years but I was also friends with this girl and he put me over her anytime. They did not text a lot they would send tik toks and everytime they went out they asked me if I wanted to join. So their relationship seems a little inappropriate to me.

Not okay. I’m sorry. Stand your ground. Don’t settle.

What are they even so upset about? That you’re not cool with homegirl or that he’s on the couch?

I’m glad y’all are able to talk things through. It may take a long time for him to figure out boundaries bc he thinks nothing’s wrong but as long as you remind him how you feel- he should remember each time he talks to her and hopefully internally sets boundaries that way. I think it’s important to realize too that homegirl will say what she says but how he responds to her is more important. Hopefully he hasn’t flirted back or anything like that…

And ughh I don’t like that he’s sharing these things with his friends cuz it doesn’t protect you & y’alls relationship but ok i guess it just shows how important they are to him. Maybe keep playing nice with the friends & it’ll simmer down…?

Sorry you’re having to deal with their immaturity I hope he realizes soon that you & your fam are the priority 💕

I think they’re upset with me not being cool with her. I had an emotional breakdown too that i did text her and said some things that aren’t good (i called her a home wrecker and a slut. Normally i don’t do that I would of just told him to pack his things and leave without saying anything to anyone else.) and they got upset that i was saying something but it’s ok for her to say something.

And i have no clue what he’s said back cause he’s never near me when he’s otp. So because he’s away when he’s otp my mindset thinks differently.. like I’ll never know what he’s really said.

And i told him that if he thinks they’re still more important than this family then maybe it’s best that he lives with his parents for a while and get a reality check. I’m not playing nice rn.. I’m just really distant and not saying anything.

It’s ok i appreciate it. Hopefully he can understand too.

My blood is boiling I would go crazy . This girl needs to go ! I’m sorry you’re going through this hun❤️

that one friend i was just texting not too long ago that’s i told her i can’t wait for her to see the baby, i saw him text her saying that he can’t talk to his best friend cause of me and it hurts hearing that cause i never said he shouldn’t. I just told him that i didn’t want him near my daughter cause he threatened me while I’m pregnant. I usually wouldn’t care about threats if i wasn’t pregnant but since i am my mindset is focused on protecting my daughter 24/7. Im not gonna force him to stop texting his best friend, he has a choice whether to still be friends with him or not and im not gonna get in the way with his decision as long as he knows that he’s not allowed to be near my daughter whatsoever and he can’t hang out with him while im around.

thank you 🙏🏼. I’m not gonna settle i know better than that.

trust me i made sure she had to leave after everything she said. I appreciate it. I’m just trying to slowly rebuild myself cause i know that what i feel the baby feels as well.

I think my most wtf moment with them is how they tell me I’m being insecure or jealous. Like… how? God answered my prayers with giving me the gift of my daughter, i put all my money down for my gender reveal, I’m making sure i buy my daughter all the diapers and wipes that she needs for the year, I’m making sure she has everything she needs off the registry cause so far no one has helped me out with gifting me things since I’m not doing a baby shower. Like I’m being blessed with being able to provide for her and making sure that when she comes i can settle down. I have no reason to be insecure and jealous of anyone. My prayers are being answered one by one and i am forever grateful with what’s in front of me. I have never been happier to get what Ive been wanting for a long time. And i will continue on being grateful that I’m making sure my child gets what she deserves and that’s nothing but love and happiness.

Ok I didn't read most of this essay of yours but, have some damn respect for yourself because he certainly has none for you.

Stop dating these trash men that consistently do this crap. You're better than that and they never change.

Be better for your child, you want her growing up seeing her mom be blatantly walked all over like that? No. Maybe it's a hard pill to swallow but you need clarity here. don't get stuck in this endless loop.

i appreciate you helping me giving me that boost of confidence 💖. Trust me i used to have that confidence in me where if i saw that i would of told him to leave right away and never contact me again. It’s just a little hard when I’m carrying our first child and having so many emotions lol. But we will have a conversation about us being better of separated whether it’s permanently or for the time being until he gets himself together. Most likely permanent cause I’m not myself and it’s hurting me. Hopefully he gets a reality check from this. Thank you for reminding me to be the queen we should all be 👑

I know it's hard to hear especially when you're in love with the person and carrying their child but man these men don't deserve our love, you deserve to be treated as an equal and have your opinions and thoughts validated. If he's not willing to step up then he needs to go.

And while I don't have much faith he will in fact get a reality check cause most men are set in their ways, I really think you're strong enough to go about this the way you feel is best for you and baby.