How to know when your child is lying to you 😞
My eldest is 8; there has been an incident at school & she has been accused of saying ‘if you tell the teacher then I’ll hurt you’. Personally I do not think this is something my daughter would say; however she’s been in the head teachers office with the other child & apparently admitted to saying this. Once I spoke with her & made sure she was aware I wasn’t angry or mad, she admitted she didn’t hear what the teacher was saying so she panicked and nodded. My daughter has glue ear, and her hearing is awful! She has been referred to ENT for this reason. However my question here is - What would you do to ensure you child was being honest? Would you punish them or take their favourite thing from them? Whenever Iv been unsure on the past Iv taken her iPad off her, I have said I’ll do the same today and for the first time ever she said ‘that’s fine because I am telling the truth’ 😢 A small part of me just doesn’t know. Any advice! 😢💗
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I don't think punishment would work for working out if they're lying and you could end up punishing her when actually she's telling the truth.
Instead you want her to trust you that no matter what you'll love her and that together you'll work out a way through this tough situation.
I think what you've done is the best course of action, saying you're not angry with her. Maybe ask her why she admitted it if she didn't say that. Or if she did say it work out why and what she can do to make better choices.
Tell her you're always on her side but you need her to be completely honest, even if she feels ashamed and finds it hard to admit something, because that way you can always help her find a solution.
- She admitted it because she didn’t actually hear what the teacher said, because of her glue ear her hearing is really bad and she’s really struggling. But because this was with the headteacher she was too nervous to say she couldn’t hear her so instead just sat nodding 😩
And I guess she feels embrassed by saying pardon especially to the headteacher. I'd explain the situation, and go back into school to try to figure it out further. You don't have to go in trying to prove her innocence or being confrontational but just because you want to talk it through with the headteacher again. After all if something else happens (and she may get tarred unfairly as someone who starts trouble) then actually they know to ensure she's really understood what she's being asked.
If nothing else, if you say to your daughter "I believe you, thank you for trusting me with the truth" you'll definitely be building a good relationship for later in life.
- Thank you! 💗
- Yes I have always taught her the same; I’d rather know the truth no matter whether it’s good or bad, and she will always be in more trouble if I find out she has lied! And it’s always worked for us! This other girl also told her parents that my daughter broke her glasses when Infact this did not happen (I spoke to the on duty teacher who confirmed that they weren’t broken). So this other child does have a path of telling lies! However I don’t want to cloud my own judgement as kids, like you say, usually lie from instinct! Without realising the consequences x
- There was issues with this girl and another girl in year 2 where my girl ending up coming home crying saying she felt bullied. But we thought we had resolved that as they were all told to stay away from eachother 🤦🏼♀️
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