Maida Vale Meet Up

โ˜•๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿผโ˜•๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿผโ˜•๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿผโ˜•๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿผ

*Maida Vale Meet Up*
*Thursday 21st September from 2pm*
*Rose Garden, Paddington Rec*

We are reverting back to the pre-holiday weekly meet ups on *Thursdays* from *2pm* at Paddington Rec in the rose garden next to the band stand (weather permitting, if not weโ€™ll be in the cafe). Come along with a picnic blanket, suncream and a few toys for the kids

We usually meet for a couple of hours so pop along any time your little oneโ€™s schedule permits. Newcomers, mums to be, partners, babies, toddlers, older siblings, buggies welcome and any parents working from home looking for a break ๐Ÿ˜Š

๐Ÿผโ˜•๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿผโ˜•๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿผโ˜•๐Ÿฅ

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As there is a chance of rain this afternoon, we will be in Paddington Rec cafe from 2pm rather than the rose garden

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Whatโ€™s wrong with me?

My marriage has been struggling for years now. I just had another baby after falling for the lies and promises of change from an absent husband and poor excuse of a father to my children.
Iโ€™m left alone with 3 children to manage the house, the kids the meals the cleaning the shopping the drop offs and everything in between. I go days without showering or having to hold my toilet with no support as I cannot leave a newborn with toddlers. Iโ€™ve made adjustments like a bouncer in the bathroom and chairs in every room so baby is just glued to my hip 24.7 if Iโ€™m lucky enough to have a shower itโ€™s with my baby watching me usually screaming. I used to have hobbies, dreams. Iโ€™ve tried filing for divorce, itโ€™s a long story but for right now Iโ€™m stuck where I am.
I have just 1 friend and other than my mother no other form of support. I look in the mirror and I donโ€™t know who the person is staring back at me. I fill with anger and rage and I want to damage something. Iโ€™m the worse version of myself and feel like Iโ€™m failing my children just moving from one day to the next. Iโ€™m not the person that looks like they struggle. Iโ€™m the person everyone turns to for help and advice when in reality Iโ€™m falling apart at the seams. A fresh blow dry, a blazer and heels and a fake smile. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors
I donโ€™t need advice or medication I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest.

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hobbies

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Need to vent

Iโ€™m sick to death of having to remind my partner to do things for me e.g wash the bottles/sterilise whilst Iโ€™m asleep as he works nights so when he gets in thatโ€™s one of his jobs but funnily enough Iโ€™ll wake the next morning to them still in the washing up bowl and all Iโ€™ll get when he wakes up is โ€˜Iโ€™m so sorry I forgotโ€™
I just feel sometimes Iโ€™m overreacting over the smallest things but I do literally everything for him as well as look after our boy on my own 90% of the time.
He gets frustrated when he canโ€™t get the baby to sleep and asks me to take over which I will always do but I donโ€™t get that option I just have to deal with it?

Also I didnโ€™t get anything for my first Motherโ€™s Day lol and feel like I let him off easily but when these little things happen it just makes me think does he actually care about me?

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