Regret

I’m sorry you’re going through this, do you have a trusted family member/friend that you could talk about this with? Maybe you could place your baby up for an open adoption so you could still see them if that’s something you would want. Just do whatever you think is right and best for your family. Maybe you could also talk to a counselor about this as well. If you did decide to do the safe haven I do believe you have a month to get your baby back if you did regret giving them up

those that I have talked to just said it's probably postpartum depression or that it sometimes takes time to bond with baby and both said to just keep going and it will be fine. Struggling to think it will change, I don't even want to hold him, like it's inconvenient to me to have to sit and hold him. I just don't know how I would feel worse - continuing to force myself to bond with him and it not working and just fuels my disdain, or if I gave him up to a better family. I feel like option 1 hurts us both while option 2 only hurts me bc I feel like I'm giving up and I'm ashamed of feeling like I need to do that.

What about giving him to the dad? Or maybe ask a family member to take care of him until you decide otherwise?

me and the dad are together and I do most of the childcare. He has been helping me a ton more since I had this second baby and we've talked about how I feel a couple times. Otherwise, there's no one else, no family to care for them. I think one thing that makes it so hard is this baby has a bad tongue tie and struggles to eat so they don't really sleep well either bc they're always hungry. Hopefully will be seeing someone for that very soon and maybe it will get better if it doesn't feel like so much to deal with on top of everything else.

If you do. Then I suggest Maybe straight adoption instead of the safe haven box because then your baby will be going to the system/fostercare. Don't live off other people opinions of you because then you're not really living. You live life according to you and not what others think

Me and the new baby have been bonding a little but I still feel like adoption is the best choice. We can barely afford things with one kid, now we have two and I'm worried how we will afford things. This baby has maybe 2 things we've bought and the rest is hand me downs, bought for us, or given to us for free. I don't want them to grow up like that. Although I feel better mentally, now I'm thinking how we straight up can't afford this baby, with time or money. I feel like I'm neglecting one or the other when I have to pick who to care for. I've tried to talk to my boyfriend about it but he doesn't say much.