Idk what to do
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He sounds like a man child 😩 and tell him all what you wrote here! You worded it very well. Not accusatory, just how your feeling. And girl, what is that about he won’t let you join the gym? Are you his employee? If you want to join a gym, then join one with child minding. Regarding your last question, I feel like your burnt out, resentful, not heard, neglected. All of this will of course affect a relationship. He doesn’t sound like much of a partner or else all of these issues wouldn’t be piling up on you. My vote is you would be better off without him. I wish you the best.
Go take a break somewhere and show him what he’s missing. I don’t think being a provider means that he can manipulate whatever the situation to his liking only. He sounds really selfish especially if he won’t even let you sign up to gym. Who is he to control that? If you haven’t had a child then you can go gym? Just because you have his child, you’re locked down to whatever he wants? Or because you would have to leave the house so he would have to look after the child and he doesn’t want? Sometimes it’s really hard and we try to find reasons to love someone but they don’t make it easy. Why are our lives turned 180 the second the baby is out and they can act like everything is normal for them, like it’s a part time job. He needs to get his act together. If he’s just gonna shame you for telling your honest opinions and asking him to adjust for the better because there’s a child to consider then go therapy and let it out. Someone people are too selfish to see adjustments to their life.
Imo you need couples therapy not individual.
It sounds to me like he's the one who needs to improve, not you. I was struggling with similar feelings, and when I talked calmly to my husband about it he admitted to needing to do more because he didn't realize how little he was helping. You deserve all the respect, understanding, and help that you give your husband.