Issues with MIL

My MIL and I have not spoken via text for over a month. This is because in the messages I told her that I did not like when she was rude and disrespectful towards me when she visits us. She said she didn't know what I was talking about and she just wants to see her grandkids. So I sent her a message saying that I would need to check with my husband and we would meet with her on a day that works for both of us. She was very nice about it and said she would wait to hear from me and was very much looking forward to seeing her grandkids. Later on I saw a text message to my husband where she said that I was twisting things, she doesn't know what I'm talking about and that he needs to say to me 'i know my mum makes you feel uncomfortable, I feel it would be best if I take the kids and go spent time with her.' She also said that I have caused her anxiety and she is feeling very stressed.  My husband responded with 'I understand' and arranged to meet her the next day. I'm not sure what happened when he went to see her...but that same night he came to say that because of the situation with his mum he thought it was best if I didn't come with him and the kids because it won't be good for the kids if there is a tense atmosphere. We got into an argument and I told him that I did not want our 1yr old and 3yr old to meet her without me present. After that argument I was so upset that I did something stupid.. I called my mil and said 'thank you for ruining my marriage' and hung up the phone. It is the first time I've let my emotions get the better of me, usually I feel so angry with the situation but will not let my mil see or hear about it. I am also very private about my life and marriage, I have not ever reacted this way with mil - also I don't want her thinking her behaviour and the things she says to my husband affect me. So anyways, my kids had their baptism this weekend and my mil came. As soon as she saw me at the church I could see how angry and upset she was. We took pictures and she stayed by my husband's side. Afterwards we had a bbq at our house. We barely spoke except when she gave me a present for the kids. By the end of the evening, when there were very few people around just my mum, her ex husband (my husband's dad) and brother were there - I confronted her and said that I didn't like that she had asked my husband if he could bring the kids to see her without me, she responded 'now is not the time for this conversation' and then I proceeded to say that it is not very nice when she says lovely things in her text to me and then says something else to my husband. She responded 'that's my son and I don't know what you're talking about....I do not want to have this conversation.' My husband walks in, she says something to him in Spanish and looks him in the eye, he says it's okay and she leaves. My husband comes to me later and asks if I'm okay and I tell him I'm fine. I don't want to start an argument because when it comes to his mum he is defensive. Sorry for the very long post. My question is this during my mil's visit she kept pulling my 3yr old daughter's hand to kiss her and she didn't want and would say 'No', and whilst we were sat with other family she kept blowing kisses to my daughter, who didn't seem to like it. Because of the situation with my mil described above - how do I go about addressing this and telling her that I do not want her doing that to our daughter, do I tell my husband, do I write a letter/text or should I tell her when I see her again?