Guilt and sadness about second baby
I feel like the worst human in the world for talking about this but did anyone else feel so guilty towards their first when pregnant with their second? Or wasn’t as excited or happy?
There will be a 15 months age gap and I know there will be so many beautiful moments and I do try to focus on them when I get upset but sometimes I get so overwhelmed with guilt about my first baby not having as much of my time and I also just don’t feel as happy or excited as I was with my first. It makes me feel like the worst mom ever and I would just love if others could tell me this is normal
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Absolutely normal! I’ve got a 14 month age gap and I felt so guilty, I don’t think I stopped crying for the first month after I found out. The pregnancy went so fast and I found the last couple of months really hard as oldest starting moving around more, my husband took most of the load, I just made sure I did bedtime and cuddled him that little bit longer.
But I’m nearly 4 months in with having both of them and it’s honestly the best feeling. Yes I feel guilty still and yes it’s bloody hard, but my toddler is cheeky and thriving and my baby is getting to that gorgeous stage where he’s more alert and starting to do more and loves just watching his big brother. It does get easier and just remember your oldest will never remember a time where it was just him (even though you will 🥺) and you’re making them a little best friend. Also I’m actually spending more time with my oldest than I would have done because I’m on maternity leave again 😃 xxx
Still feeling horrendously guilty and only have 6 weeks left to go. LO is 18 months so doesn’t realise she’s having a baby brother. She loves dolls but isn’t that fussed by the younger babies at nursery.
I will try and include her as much as possible but as I’m having a C-section im worried she’ll get upset that I can lift her up or she can’t climb/jump on me for her excitable cuddles
I wish it was spoken about more because I feel like a terrible person for the way I feel and genuinely never hear anyone talk about it☹️
It’s such an odd one isn’t it. A blessing to be able to give them a sibling but a terrifying thought of changing what they know as the norm.
I guess it becomes the norm eventually.
Hopefully that oxytocin hormone kicks in when the new baby is here and will kick off some happier feelings.
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