Worried
Sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me.
If an absent father suddenly reaches out after not even being there from the third trimester, or the birth, but then reaches out when baby turns 7 months old, yet says he doesn’t want the courts involved, tries to manipulate you into getting back with him again, refuses child support, and even threatens to get a lower paying job and moving an hour away, would he go after custody rights? Or is he a true dead beat? I haven’t heard from him since the end of July.
I had blocked his old account, and his new Facebook account he made several months after him and I broke up, but ended up unblocking his old one to try to make a visitation schedule after he contacted me basically to try to get me back in a relationship with him. I think he tried to corner and trap me with the baby. And I almost fell for it.
He made up an excuse why he wasn’t asking to see the baby, went and helped a friend with some plumbing issues instead on the weekend he had off- then made it my responsibility for their meeting even tho he knows his schedule and I suggested different ones. He didn’t ask for pictures or anything. I had to ask if he wanted some. I wish I didn’t.
Anyway, he deleted his old account and is now using the one I had blocked. Do I need to unblock it? Or is it safe to leave it blocked and continue taking care of my kids with no worries? I have proof of our conversations if he was to take me to court. Which would probably look silly on his part.
Honestly, I don’t want to really coparent with him due to safety reasons. But he is his dad. But I know a lot of people who shouldn’t have been forced to be around their dad due to trauma they ended up going through and is still recovering from their childhood. And I noticed signs with my ex so I left. I don’t play around with crap like that.
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My child's father was a true dead beat my husband and I raised my 5 year old until he was almost 4 and his father filed for custody and got it. Even thought he is a violent offender and a drug dealer. And I have absolutely no convictions. Honestly the justice system is fucked...
I'm sorry you are having to go through that, instead of being able to enjoy your baby
At least have him pay child support. I was watching Judge Vonda Support court and depending on the state but if someone intentionally gets a less paying job they may still be eligible to pay on the higher income. Mainly because they had the ability to make that $$ but decided to downgrade themselves in order to not pay you less.
He said he doesn’t want to fight and doesn’t want the courts involved as they’ll make “our” lives miserable. He said in the last message back in July that “you’re right, I can legally walk away with no legal consequences, is that really what you want me to do here?” And I haven’t heard from him since. He really doesn’t want to pay child support and I really don’t want my child at risk of being SA. He kept trying to get my oldest alone and I noticed he would only try to sleep with me with my oldest sleeping next to me (each time I told him no). He knew it was wrong as he told me it made him uncomfortable even tho it was after I told him it made me uncomfortable, but he tried it two more times after that. The third time my instincts caught on to what his intentions were and I started sleeping on the couch until I could safely leave. He’s never met the baby, and he isn’t on the birth certificate. I just want him to leave us alone. I talked ti a lawyer and they said since he’s not on-
-the birth certificate, he can’t take off with the baby.
Have a supportive circle around you.. your family & friends at this time.. may you and baby deserve all happiness 💝
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