Very insecure after giving birth
I'm almost 10 weeks pp and I have all these new insecurities. Like my boobs being saggy and my nipples are huge and dark. I only breastfed the first 3 weeks but wasn't producing enough milk so I stopped. But my boobs look horrible now. All the loose skin and stretch marks on my stomach. I feel like I've gained weight since giving birth but my eating habits haven't changed so I can't understand why... and lastly sex does not feel the same way anymore! We started having sex 4 weeks pp and it actually felt good the first few times. A little painful but good. Now it feels loose and it hurts when he goes too deep. I don't enjoy it anymore. Is that my fault because we had sex so early? I feel like I ruined my vagina because I didn't wait longer. I know I shouldn't worry about these things because I got my beautiful baby boy out of it and it was all worth it. But I do worry and I can't get over it. My self confidence went wayyy down after giving birth. I just don't know how to feel better about myself. Will my boobs and vagina go back to what they were before or is this my body now? Sorry for the vent, I haven't spoken about this to anyone and it's really impacting my mental health.
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1. Your body has gone through a lot of changes and it totally normal to feel all of these things. There’s not should or shouldn’t about it. You can be excited about your baby AND be confused about your new body.
2. You don’t need to apologize for venting, we’re all here to support each other
You might’ve gained weight but it also might be extra skin. For some women the skin goes back to “normal” and for some women this becomes their new normal. It has more to do with genetics than anything else unfortunately.
The vagina is a muscle and will completely heal with time. The recommendation for 6wks is more to prevent infection where the placenta was attached is still healing. You didn’t ruin your vagina, your body is going through a lot of stages of healing and adapting and it’s not linear unfortunately.
Something that helped me was to go to a bra shop and get fitted with a beautiful bra that fit my new boobs. It helped me accept them and feel better in my skin a little bit.
I also had to get new clothes because nothing from pre-pregnancy fit the same and it was really making me feel bad. Like I could put them on but they just didn’t flatter me the same way. So we scrounged together some spare cash and I went to the local thrift store and found some clothes that I could feel good in. (Easier said than done for sure, but going with a supportive friend helps.)
I found that having clothes that fit my new body helped me not think about it so much and slowly accept it. My boobs have never gone completely back, but my husband loves them all the same 🤷♀️
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