postpartum depression

I don't know if it's me or depression. But lately I've been feeling like everyone thinks I don't breastfeed my lo.
he bf exclusively and hates, HATES any kind of formula I've tried to give him.
my mil and sister watch me bf to him like as he's not getting enough and I'm exhausted.
I finally broke down today and I've been on the bed crying because I'm exhausted of them and now my fiancée not believing me.
my lo sometimes plays with my breasts and snacks I let him though to make sure he tries to eat. obviously when he's hungry he latches on pretty good for more than 30min.
I feel like I'm not doing enough and now with them telling me to keep trying formula like I havent makes me feel like shit.
They're literally making me feel like I'm not doing a good job as a mother or even bf my baby good enough.
I am getting to the point where I don't want to be on this earth again. like I'm useless.
yet, I stop and think and I know I can't let my lo down and my lo that's inside cause I'm pregnant again. I wish I could make this public but I'm ashamed and need to hear good things mommas.
I hate being in this dark black hole I can't seem to get out of.

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First off, you’re an amazing mom. The fact that you’re making sure he’s fed means you care and are doing a great job. As long as your baby is gaining weight and making plenty of dirty diapers then he’s obviously getting enough! People need to learn to just mind their own. Do you have insurance that will cover therapy? You can also talk to your doctor who can help you find a therapist.

Sometimes just having someone to talk to and listen to you is a life changer!

That generation of people are the worst and men of all generations lol

The BF issue vs Formula happened to me with my family and husband. I bought a baby weight scale on Amazon and weighed my baby every week ontop of maintaining her regular Dr appointments and communicating with the lactation nurses. I only talked to professionals, listened to professionals and surrounded myself with professionals. Everyone else was either with me or against me and I didn’t give a f*%! who you were. Anyways, she is still EBF at 7 months and no one tells me crap about formula anymore. They’re all pretty scared of me at this point TBH. It’s you and your baby, that’s it. You and me and me and you.

https://www.jessicaurlichs.com/post/mama-all-i-see-is-you

@Macie unfortunately, I've always had bad experiences with therapists I've giving up on them. One told me I shouldn't be depressed because he came from Africa without anything and look at him now his a doctor. 😞

@Macie unfortunately my family is far away and it's not the same through a text my sister is the one that came to visit and yet still made me feel like he wasn't eating enough when she saw him.

@Adriane I think that'd the problem cause the last visit to his docs he didn't gained much weight I haven't thought about buying a scale but I'm scared cause of what happened last visit that he won't gain weight. to me it seems like he looks slim but he is getting taller and fast. I'm 5'2 and it looks like he's already half my height I did measure him and he's about 25in. so I know he is growing but I also don't want to keep checking in case I disappoint myself.

thank you

in our community

How do I end this friendship

My best friend of 15 years and I are in similar stages of life and her behaviour has gotten increasingly erratic and triggering. I am about to have my first baby and she is struggling with postpartum from her second who was born last August. All the “normal” post partum depression symptoms I totally understand but she has also in my opinion made a lot of selfish choices recently.

She is constantly yelling and berating her husband and kids as well as flying off the handle at the tiniest things and it’s super triggering for me coming from a previous abusive relationship. She’s honestly being abusive to her family.

I feel like she always makes everything about herself and her reasoning has gotten soooo misconstrued. She acts only on her emotions and doesn’t care about anyone else’s. She never accepts any constructive criticism or advice even though she complains 24/7 about everything.

She says she hates being a mom and doesn’t want to be around her kids , hates her marriage, hates her job, and complains 24\7 and refuses to do anything to change. She also makes everything about herself including my baby shower we just had. She’s made rude comments to my spouse as well.

I don’t have many mom friends but at this point she is just not the type of person I want to be around because she is being so mean and wanting to bring everyone down with her. Also I am about to have my first baby and just want to focus on me.

no screen mums!!

are you absolutely 0 screens household? my boy is 6mo and me and my partner agreed no screens till 3yo, but I'm a sahm and showering is HARD when I'm alone, I've been thinking about recording myself singing the songs he likes and showing it to him for being able to shower.
What do you do?

Feeling guilty for co sleeping

My 6 month old has suddenly started to do abit of co sleeping in the night. She sometimes go back to her bed but alot of the time it’s out of pure exhaustion from me that I just let her sleep with me. I haven’t got any energy to be rocking her back to sleep and putting her down with possibly failing the attempt. But for some reason I feel a sense of guilt like I’m going to have problems later on if it continues. Someone put my mind at ease please?

Birthday postpartum

I’m due to give birth to our second child weeks before my birthday. My partner wants to know what I want to do but I don’t know what would be possible so soon. I already get things like facials and my hair and nails done and it’s been made clear none of those qualify as a present for my birthday 😅 I don’t know what more I could possibly do 😅 there’s no way I’m going to want to go on a day out 😂

Feel like I’m solo parenting

I’m so sick of arguing with my husband over this.

My daughter is 11 weeks old, and my husband works Monday to Friday. I look after her all day every day, and on the weekends and some evenings he goes out cycling. I don’t mind this, he gets extremely ratty and stir crazy if he doesn’t go out, and it drives me mad.

Lately. My daughter’s sleep pattern is all over the place in terms of the second stretch. She tends to go for 6 hours, then has a feed, then either goes for another 4 hours, or starts to fuss at about 5:30 am. (I realise this first stretch is a dream, please believe me I’m not complaining about that.

My husband starts work at 7 am from home, or leaves at 6 am if he’s going into the office.

This means that he comes home, feeds her once while I’m in the shower, while I handle all of the other feeds/ settling her off at night. I rarely go back to sleep after as I’m so wired. He also struggles to sleep once he’s awake, so when she fusses for her night feed, he’s up from around 4 am regardless of feeding her or not.

I see him for around 3 hours a day apart from weekends, and in that time I cook, he does the dishes and cleans the bottles. We then bath/wash LO, he feeds her, then we watch a film or show until her next feed at 9:30 pm.

He has gone up to bed early to try and get more sleep because he feels like he’s exhausted to the point of headaches. (I am too, but it seems like this isn’t as important because I don’t go to work. He acknowledges that it’s hard work looking after her all day, this isn’t the problem). I have stayed downstairs with her, because to me, disturbing a sleeping baby only to put her in a crib for 30 minutes after settling her again, to feed her and then have to restart the process is ridiculous when she’s asleep already.

I feel like I do everything. I feed and settle her every time. When he can’t calm her down within 10 minutes he passes her back despite me having her all day and him not seeing her.

I love my daughter more than anything, and my husband is lovely, I swear. It’s just a really tough time with her sleep, and I’m struggling to cope. I’m so, so tired. And he doesn’t seem to realise this, because he is. We have talked about this so many times, but it just turns into an argument. Please tell me this will pass?

When did your child stop taking naps?

My son is almost 3 and just been moved to a big kid bed (out of crib) and isn't napping. No surprise of course with the big change. It took him a long time to get to sleep last night first sleep in there too. My husbands coworker said when they switched his toddler out of the crib into first big kid bed he stopped napping that day. Wondering on other's experiences. Thanks in advance!