MIL Weird Behaviour

I think she’s excited and thats lovely. Given that you’ve had a great relationship with her until this point I’d say there’s no malice in her behaviour and she is just genuinely excited. But in her excitement she might cross a line or two so maybe without being rude you could set some boundaries, or maybe have your husband speak to her and just let her know gently that this is his and your baby and that while she is their grandmother and will have a very special place in their lives that this is both of your baby and that she needs to take the lead from you and your husband as the parents of the child. The building of Wendy houses and picking of cribs is something special that you and your husband want to do for your child and is your right and privilege to do so. Maybe you could ask her to do something/organise something for the baby that you are happy to let her do so that she feels involved but doesn’t trigger you to feel she is stepping on your toes

The touching/asking to see your bump is just weird and you were right to say that you weren’t comfortable.
I also find the comment that she wishes it were her baby a bit strange. I guess it’s coming from a place of love and maybe some sort of sadness/longing for the days when her kids were young, but it probably wasn’t something she should have said aloud in your presence
I think maybe find ways to show her that she is valued as a grandmother to the child while also asserting yourselves as the parents in a kind way

Being excited doesn't give her the right to infringe on your comfort. If she can't handle being politely told that it makes you uncomfortable and she needs to stop doing it, then something is wrong, and I think I'd be very careful about letting her around my child.

She has to realize that you and your husband are adults. Your garden is your garden, and if you don't want her putting a Wendy house (what is that, BTW? 👀😂) there, then she doesn't get to put one there. If she doesn't like the crib you picked out for YOUR child, who cares? It's not her house, it's not her crib, it's not her baby. As for the appointments and pregnancy progress, only share what YOU feel comfortable sharing. She has no right to any of that information.

I agree completely! Hopefully she's just excited.
I will say as a mom with older children, I can see them growing up & time slipping away. So I can empathize with becoming longing for the days when your children were young & things were new--when you weren't exhausted & overwhelmed-- how much love, happiness, & attn u get to share w/ LO's! So w/ that in mind, many a Nana may wish to experience that again thru a much loved grandchild.
Ofc saying it in front of u & acting like she has is asking for alarm bells to go off & your defenses to be on alert! My suggestion after going thru a version of it myself when mine were LO's is to try to set boundaries now 4 the thgs that bother u. Also try 2 engage that otherwise good relationship you've had by finding thgs 4 her to do so she can be involved & help-- w/o her just latching on to whatever you're doing. If she can stay in her lane, her help could be invaluable in the future.

weird weird weird!!! “wish this was her baby”🚩🚩🚩oh heck no that’s so weird you are not over reacting! set boundaries in place now and have your partner help you! it only gets harder once baby is here :(

Btw, you & your partner can decide on what boundaries you may want to create together, but don't make the mistake of being the only 1 communicating those boundaries or holding them up w/ the in-laws. Their child should be the primary 1 speaking to their parent(s) so that those grandparents take it seriously & also so it won't cause issues between you & your MIL. Unfortunately some in-laws thk they don't have to listen to YOU & can even act like you're overreacting or being unfair to the if their son isn't the 1 laying out the rules for them.🫣🙄 Good luck!

Thank you all for the very helpful advice and your thoughts! I’m glad to know I’m not overreacting (as I was worried I am - my husband definitely thinks so) and that others think this is a bit strange too. I’m hoping she is just excited and unintentionally overstepping a bit but will calm down - I will ask my husband to speak to her. I definitely want her to feel valued and included - whilst also respecting the fact its not her baby/ house. Also a Wendy house is a playhouse for the garden (😂 sorry I think this is a British term!)

Put boundaries in place now!! Her behaviour is not normal in the slightest and will only escalate when baby is here. Speaking from experience. Good luck x