Going back to work

Do what you feel is right and what you want to do. I am going back in November and work have said I can do less days - I have studied really hard to get where I am but same time I know my job will always be there and my LO won't be a baby forever so I want to enjoy my time with him. However that is a personal choice that I have struggled with and it down to each individual there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to go back full time and the baby will be loved no matter what. What do you want to do? ❤️

Thankyou. This opportunity is at another workplace thats got a great reputation but the position is only full time. I was full time before i had little one and the place i work currently is like a sinking ship over 70% staff have left with the rest pretty much looking and telling me how unhappy they are hence me looking elsewhere.

This new place would take a lot of pressure off my hubby who is working 56 hours a week to make sure we can cover mortgage etc. Its something that in a years time id jump at, i was just hoping for abit more time with little one as like you say they aren't babies long and ill miss her. Im honestly so torn xx

It sounds like a really good opportunity tbh - can they give you a working from home option a couple of days a week so that you could have a nanny at home while you work? I had that growing up and was great for my mum as meant she still could see me during the day.

One of the stipulations for me taking less days would be if it put pressure on my partner I wouldn't do it - I am lucky enough that it doesn't and I will do some extra work on the side for pocket money for me and baby activities. But if it makes you happy and takes pressure off your husband that makes for a harmonious household which would be good for baby. In September as will working mum's will be entitled to 15hours free childcare as well.

i went back full time and i ended up changing my contract because i couldn't handle the days, i was working 7:30-6 4 days a week.. a month after i went back they closed my workplace :(

I went back full time after my first and will again in January. Nursery fees are eye watering, but my daughter loves it there and I know my son will too. The nursery are fantastic and my child has thrived there. Working is so important for my mental health and sense of self. I have an amazing relationship with my daughter and am 100% a better parent for working. I value our time together so much. I know people feel like stay at home parents get a rough time, but I am constantly judged for working as a parent to little ones. You do what works for you and your family. We’re all just doing our best.

@Meadhbh thankyou so much..i think its more me then her im so worried she will feel unloved which is silly i know that deep down. There so much pressures on mums i kinda feel you cant do wrong for doing right.

This job is mon to fri 8 till 5.30. Can i ask do you feel like its better for them?, go out do more things as they will be more money etc.

Its so tough i love her so much and dont want to be away from her but then while ive been on maternity ive really struggled feeling lonely etc that i do think work will be better for me.

Did it take you a long time to adjust to full time? And family balance. I think i just worry to much 😫

I work similar hours. I think it’s a total trade off. If I didn’t work yes we’d have more time together, but I know personally I would struggle to be ‘present’ for all that time if you know what I mean. There’s always stuff to be doing in the house; softplay/days out are expensive and I don’t think I could be doing them every day. Plus with little ones by the time you’ve got meals and naps in the day runs away with you and there isn’t all that much time to do anything!!

As working parents we’re conscious to plan things for the weekends and make the most of the time. As you say, because we have two incomes we can afford to do more. It also means when we do things it’s as a family, or we split up and give quality 1:1 time.

I understand your worry. I would encourage you to go and have a look around nurseries and see how you feel. When I chose my daughters and spent some time there I felt better because I could see how happy she would be there.

In nursery they’re in a group of children the same age, with staff who’s only focus is on them and their development, rather than running a house!

I started doing KIT days to build up to returning and I honestly didn’t find it too traumatising! It’s strange, but I wouldn’t say I found it too hard.

It’s all personal. If you don’t feel you can do it, then you should feel comfortable making that decision for yourself and your family. Whatever decision you make will be the right one 💪🏻

@Meadhbh thankyou so much for taking the time to reply to me.

I definitely feel like my little one doesnt get the best version of me all the time ie struggling with loneliness, doing everything in house etc as well as giving her enough stimulation.

I just think in a years time when i maybe would be more ready, this opportunity has already been and gone. Its all come about quickly and its with an old manager who was great to work for. Id definitely like to give it ago. I have a couple of days work trial next week which will maybe give me more of an insight.

Think this week im going to enquire at a couple of the local nurseries and have a walk round them etc. I know nursery is good for them too ❤️

Think its boiling to my own insecurities xx

That feeling of not giving your best - I totally empathise. It’s really hard sometimes.

A trial and a look around nurseries are a great start 👍🏻. Do you need to make a decision by a certain date?