MIL Visiting...

My baby girl and I don't usually stay at home during the week. I keep us busy. We make plans and play dates. I'm always looking for fun things to do with her. We go to a mommy group 3 times a week and often see the other moms and kids in between the other days.

My MIL has makes a habit of telling me the DAY OF that she is on her way into town. I have told her way too many times that I need to know in advance when she is coming. I told her that we already have plans and that I need to know prior to the day of.
My husband was at work and asked me "why don't you just invite my mom to go with you"

Well because I don't fucking like her, that's why.
She is condescending, doesn't respect me as a mother, and overstimulates our child. She doesn't respect nap time and stares at my breast while I nurse. I can't be alone with her. She never stops talking. Like, when do you breathe!? I need a buffer, and quite frankly I need her to understand that I do not appreciate her unannounced/last minute visits. I do not think that we should enable her.

Am I the asshole? Probably. Do I care? Absolutely not. She's said far too many ugly things about me to her side of the family. I do not pity her. She can share my refusing her visit as well.

However, she is coming next week and still has not told me what day yet. She'll probably randomly send a message that she's on her way 🤦🙄

She would see her granddaughter even less if I had gone back to work.
She can come ANYTIME if she would just let me know ahead of time. I have to mentally prepare for this woman.

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If she does, in fact, randomly send a message at the last minute instead of telling you beforehand, just say, "Sorry, MIL, but we are not home. As we've previously discussed, baby girl and I stay busy, so any future visits HAVE to be planned in advance. Now can you please pick a day next week that we can PLAN for?"

GIRL SAME HERE ! Do we have the same MIL?!?

Mine has that habit of planning things last minute! She has seen my baby maybe 6 time and my baby is 3 months and she lives 15 min away .

She literally was watching me breastfeed her and I had to stop the hints and tell her straight up that I want to nurse comfortable and need her to step out. She acted like she didn’t understand I had to tell her 3 times before she “got it”

She won’t include me in a group txt with my husband or her family asking about dinner or plans or whatever she will just contact my husband and she will guilt trip him into bending her way.

She has played the victim of not “feeling welcomes in my house as her excuse why she hasn’t seen my daughter as often as she would like “ .

Last week she contacted my husband while I was out for and hour running errands and had my husband being our child to her home without me .

My MIL to a T. Makes it even worse for me because we moved into her house and took over her mortgage and all the bills. She never lets us forget that she can kick us out if she wants to. 🤣 she watched me while breastfeeding and I told her that I would appreciate her not staring at my breasts while I’m trying to feed my child 💀 She’s a narcissist so she is always the victim and never does anything wrong. To everyone she knows she’s the nicest person ever/an angel but behind closed doors??? Yikes. You are NOT the asshole.

I would tell her something like “Wednesday is the only day we’re available, so come that day! We look forward to seeing you on Wednesday”

Yeah I would tell her that I will not allow her to come over if she did not already previously ask to see if you were busy. And if she can’t possibly commit to a day ask her to give you 2 days that she could possibly come over that you can plan for

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Time-out method at nursery

I just found out that they put our son on time out in the corner of the room for 2 minutes for pushing another child. He had been pushing a lot that day apparently but they didn’t tell us on pick up. We found out coincidentally because his key person was at the drop off this morning. I’m fuming! What would you do? Am I overreacting?

Hidden veg mince pasty 🥐

Grated courgette and carrot mixed in with onion and mince and a little bit of tomato puree. 😋

My daughter has become a little fussy and prefers anything she can hold so made these today for lunch! She’s 14 months old 🩷

Appropriate age to go out

I am the kind of person who struggles with being at home all day, not good for my mental health. I have a 1 month old and I am trying to start doing things with her. Like going ti the park, running errands. But people seem surprised and kind of judgy that I am out with the baby at her age. Is this wrong?

Am I wrong for getting upset?

Long story short. My cousin made a group chat for bridesmaids and groomsman to plan out bachelorette party.
I sent one text about finding a sitter and my cousin texts me to stop saying stuff like that cause no one gives a shit? As if no one else is gonna mention their personal lives during planning a trip of 10 people?
I. Put the screenshots. I got so hurt I told her just count me out if the mention of my kid offends everyone.

First Mother’s Day

I feel like such a bad person for this & I’m not looking for sympathy or anything but yesterday was going so well and than I got really emotional and upset because my partner done everything special he could have done but he didn’t even put a few lines in a card from my baby for my first Mother’s Day card..
He said that because there was lots of writing in the card he didn’t realise that it would have hurt or upset me so bad but it did.. I let it affect me alot more than I feel like it should have but I LOVE sentimental things I love little things like that, meaningful stuff. Especially being my first Mother’s Day that I’ve dreamt of all my life..
There is a big age gap between me and my partner and also he’s Italian so maybe he didn’t realise but I just feel so goddam shit about it. Like I ruined MY day..
I spent the day all on my own with my baby at my mums house instead of with my partner bc of me reacting the way I did and I just felt like I toke it so wrong..
I feel I can’t forgive myself for this and I am the type of person to keep thinking about the situation even if my partner says everything’s okay. I beat myself up about it so badly and in such a low mood for it. Even today and yesterday has passed😞
Maybe this may help getting it off my chest and writing it down but how can I seriously live with myself from this? What can I do better?
I’m such an awful person I know😫😫

Roles between a sthm and a working partner?

I started wondering if our arrangement makes any sense. When I was pregnant I saw a cute video of a couple where they sleep seperately, the mom takes care of the baby during the night, the husband wakes up early in the morning takes over so the woman sleeps a bit before he gets to work I suggest this arrangement to my husband and we both liked it. Since I gave birth to my 22 month old boy, we are sleeping separately, I’m taking care of everything. My toddler still wakes up during the night every two hours on average. I wake up in the morning to make his breakfast and drive him to the train station and pick him up later in the day. I clean and cook and take care of my boy, with no appreciation or thank you. If I say I’m tired it turns he’d say what are you doing all day or he’d remind me of how he’s paying for everything. I am emotionally and physically exhausted and I don’t feel this is how a team should work.