Help in laws
Okay guys I need your help. I need you to help me word what I think correctly because 1) when I say things I go straight to the point and sometimes I can “hurt” people’s feelings if that makes sense. Like I don’t sugar coat it. 2) English is not my first language and sometimes I can seem to be mean but it’s just a language barrier or I use the wrong words.
ANYWAY, my in laws are back from out of state. They were living in Alaska for over a year and they are now back in AZ. My mother in law smokes cigarettes - a lot 😣. They stopped by for 10min and she held my baby, talked to her kissed her and all of that.
I freaking hated it because she was smelling so so bad. Now my baby smells the cigarette 😤. Plus she gave her so many kisses and with RSV season coming up I don’t want anyone to kiss her. I talked about that with my husband and he agrees with me.
I love my MIL, she is the nicest person but I hate this side of her. How can I say stop smoking if you know you are seeing your grand child + no kisses?
She wasn’t here for my pregnancy and birth and this is her real first grand child so I don’t want to be mean but at the same time I think that’s normal rules that I have ..
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If your husband agrees with the boundaries you want to set, I’d have him talk to his mom. It’s more likely to go well.
Are you ok with a kiss on the top or back of the head instead? Tummy? Feet? I asked my family to “pause” head and face kisses for the same reason. Now they are kissing (and fake eating) his feet. Lol.
yes I think I’ll ask that instead
my MIL was kissing mine LOs hands after seeing her putting her hands in her mouth!!!!!! I shut that down so fast! Like...you literally just saw her a minute ago try and put both of her hands in her mouth....what makes you think it is okay to kiss them?!?!? Especially when she is coughing!!!!!! I was so mad!!! Still am mad about it!!! 😡
I totally agree with you and honestly I would have my husband say something… this actually did happen to me other than the smoking part I am a nurse and I absolutely do not want anyone kissing my child. My husband has barely kissed her because he doesn’t want to get her sick. When his mom and sister were kissing our daughter he pulled them to the side and explained that we don’t want anyone kissing her due to health risks. So far so good and they haven’t kissed her ever since. Don’t feel guilty or bad this is your child not theirs 🩷 you’re just doing what you think is the best
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