Mummy vs First Name

My daughter call us mama and dada/papa. My son calls him by name. She hasnt noticed

My partner calls me mama when talking to our daughter but calls me by name when talking to my step daughter. My step daughter calls me mama when talking to the baby because she knows that to the baby I am mama. When my partner is talking to both girls at the same time he calls me mama. It’s important for me to be recognized that way in my home but of course my step daughter can continue calling me by my name when she’s talking to or about me if that’s what she is comfortable with. I grew up with the same setup with my half sister a no one was ever confused!

Thanks Mackenzie your setup sounds the same as mine, that’s reassuring to hear :)

Our children are smarter then we think trust me your bio baby knows you are mama!! ❤️🤗

When my husband and I got together my kids were 2 and 5 and his were 6 and 8. Having two call me Mom and two call me by my first name did create confusion all the way around. We talked through it and agreed on two things,
1) The kids would get to choose what they call each of us as long as it was respectful and consistent. No changing it when they were mad at one of us because they were in trouble or having a bad day.
2) we would refer to each other as Mom and Dad when we had all the kids. We figured in our home those were our roles. We weren’t taking anything away from the other parents, we were trying to simplify things for the kids.
Our girls are now 19, 17, 16, and 13 and I’d say it worked for us in our home. My advice do what feels right for you. Trust your mom gut!

My bio kids call me mum/mummy and my ss calls me by my name. They are all still very young and sometimes ss will copy my kids and accidentally call me mum. But he doesn’t often refer to me like that. And he knows who his mum is, it’s more just a general comment not exactly calling me mum to ask something he will be more like if my son said mum has dinner ready, he will parrot “mum has dinner ready.” But when he talks to me he uses my name. He also sometimes calls his bio dad by his first name since my children call him that. So I think they copy what they hear but they will grow up and understand the difference. I personally don’t want him to call me mum, just as a respect thing to his bio mother. But I understand he’s so young and it’s harmless slip up. Also my ex, (my youngest son’s dad) was around when my eldest was so young he grew up calling him dad. We were together for 3 years until I had a child to him and then he left and has not had any contact with us since.

It crushed my son and he was always asking for “daddy”. I ended up having to tell him his name and that it’s okay to call him by his name when he spoke of him. He eventually weaned off calling him dad and now either says “little brothers” dad. Or just calls him by his name. But I’ve always wanted to be very open and honest with him and he knows that he was not his biological dad the whole time. I think it’s totally fine for kids to refer to you by your name in blended families. I know it’s very different for everyone but I feel like on the off chances things don’t work out the kids don’t feel like they lose mum or dad. They lose (first name). But maybe that’s just my personal outlook since I’ve experienced it with my boy. I will also keeping it going with the youngest child calling my partner by his name, but I know he will often say dad (he’s only 1). I know my eldest wants to call my partner dad but I just don’t feel comfortable with it, not at this stage anyway.

No I definitely don’t want my SD to call me mum, she has her mum and we have our own bond. It’s more the respect for your role as the mum in your household, and ensuring my bio kids call me mum and my family are called nanny grandad etc rather than the bio kids learning to call them by their real names. Just wondered how it worked for pple.