Waiting for an apology?

Happened to me and I moved on raised the kids he shows up when one is grown and the other will be next year to try to start a custody battle 🤦🏽‍♀️

🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Although we would like nothing more than an acknowledgement of the mistreatment, abuse, and trauma caused by the narcissist, they lack the insight, self-awareness, and willingness to be held accountable for their actions and for the pain they caused. Unfortunately, the apology that you desire will most likely never happen because as far as the narcissist is concerned, the problem doesn't lie with him ...

This journey of healing and growth from the relational trauma and grief of the false life we lived while entangled with the narcissist is long and painful but doable. As we focus on ourselves, reflecting on the lessons we've learned (albeit the hard way), we will desire less and less an apology and desire more and more to thrive in life and to become the best version of ourselves. This is the ultimate comeback from life with a narcissist.

I pray you blessings, strength, resiliency, and abundance in every area of your life

I’m reading this in shock. How does that even make sense to him? He has been gone for years and then returns wanting custody 🤨. It sounds like life got hard for him, so he is trying to get supply from you or your children. I hope the court system sees right through it. Well done for standing by your children and I pray you will be mentally, spiritually and emotionally fortified to face this situation. Hopefully, it will be a short-term challenge and then he’ll return to whatever he was doing before and leave you alone.

Amen! Thank you, K, for this message. Reading it made me feel empowered to be able to get through this healing process. I've been in survival mode for years, so this is the time where I need to focus, reflect and learn. The truth is even if I got an apology it will have an ulterior motive. In the same way, it was always tied to something when we were married. Sometimes I think who on earth was I married to? It's scary when you process it and realise a lot of things “mistakes” were intentionally malicious.

To the author of the post:

It's my pleasure and honor to support a fellow survivor and rising victor in her journey of healing and growth from the unfortunate and traumatic experience of narcissistic abuse. We all need a tribe to help us through this tough battle so that we can ultimately win the war over our soul and strive towards purpose. Survival mode carried us through the years of abuse. Now it's time to LIVE!!!! And not just live to see another day but to thrive and experience a beautiful life that enriches not only us but those who have earned a spot at the table by demonstrating relational healthiness.

You're right ... Narcissists never offer sincere apologies....It's always a hook that is focused on their ulterior agenda. The truth for many of us is that who we thought we were married to was just a mask ..An intentional false persona meant to reflect to us whatever we shared we were looking for in a romantic interest.

Reflection definitely allows us to see things from a different vantage point when we look through the lens of narcissistic traits rather than through the lens of "this person is neurotypical and just made an error in judgment".

100% it sounds like you're much further along in your healing journey than myself. What did you do to get to this point?

I know that if it wasn't for my relationship with the Lord I won't not be standing here sane today. There is no exaggeration in that statement. I was at a stage where I felt my mind slipping due to the gaslighting and ongoing abuse.

@ author of post, thank you and yes he wants money. That’s all and ME. He hates that I moved on and had a great supporting husband who loved me and his children as his own.

that's amazing that you got remarried and found someone to love you and your children. I'm put off entering a relationship again. However, it's encouraging to hear your story and how you all healed and moved on with life.

@ author it is a blessing indeed and it took me a few years of loving myself separate from a partner to be in the space to love and trust again. The narcissistic man I left behind is still trying to have a limited form of control but it is not going to work! Those types hate losing their powers

it sounds like you did a cracking job at healing and moving forward. I can't wait until I'm at that stage.

Trust the process and even with a little fear of the unknown, just push through and and go for what you want need and deserve