Stressing about leaving baby...
I'm stressing about leaving my baby with my partner for 4 hours on Thursday. I've finally booked a hairdressers appointment (it's been 5 months!). It will be my first time leaving my baby. I feel really anxious about it. My partner hasn't been very hands-on with the baby, so I am a bit nervous about how he will cope.
We agreed zero screen time, but I am worried he is going to just plonk him in front of his phone and not really play with him (he did this once when I was having a quick rinse in fhe shower and then tried to cover up that's what he'd been doing). I've also pumped enough for him for him to feed him, but I'm worried he will just use some of the pre-made formula we have left over. I'm worried he is going to pretend to have used it and throw it away. I don't know why I think this... I guess he may think the defrosting and warming up will be too much hassle.
Other than that, I'm just anxious generally that my baby is going to but upset without me there...then also that he might not care at all (can't win!). Or if my partner doesn't know what he wants or needs, he's going to get really stressed and upset.
I'm planning on setting up things on Wednesday eve all ready...bottles, things to potentially do, talk him through what to do...but I'm also worried I am going to come across as super overbearing...and maybe he won't really care what I am saying anyway and will just do whatever.
Idk, my mind is going around and around.
At the end of the day, it will be OK and I'll be home after a bit - nothing disastrous should happen, but I really can't help but feel really stressed about it.
Maybe it will be a good thing for him to be thrown in the deep end for a few hours?
But again, I don't want my baby getting distressed either.
I feel like a bad Mum for doing this for myself...even though I know that's a bit silly too.
Help? Words of advice??
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and breathe mumma! you’re biologically created to be attached to your child for years, so of course your body is going to tell you to be anxious! hes lived inside you for the 9 months, it’s completely natural for you to feel natural, however that being said! the bond with dad needs to happen, dad also needs to learn to have baby in the same way it seems you both agreed on parenting as thats his job too, and you need you time! you cannot function as an adult without something filling your cup, running yourself to empty and becoming dysfunctional will make you a bad mum not giving yourself some self care for a few hours so youre on top form for your baby, like you said hes not a bad parent and nothing bad will happen but this is all normal to feel! roll with it and enjoy your hair, youve got this 💋💋
Breathe! It’s normal specially if the first time you two are apart. With my first son, 9 years ago, still remember the first time I left him with my mom overnight to work 😅 I cried all the way. You’ll be ok ❤️
Let's not discount the power of dads. Men normally have unorthodox ways but that's still his child. Get your hair done and let dad be a parent as well. You'll be fine, Baby will be fine and Dad will find ways to entertain baby while your away.
agree! Just bc dad parents one way doesn’t mean it’s wrong! Let dad do his thing 🫶🏽
I could’ve written this myself. I am the exact same but I keep telling myself he needs to learn, it’s his son too 😭 my boy is 8m and he hasn’t been left for longer than 2/3 hours with him but I’m getting my hair done next weekend and it usually takes 5+ hours 😭🥲
unorthodox ways 🤣🤣👌👌
All will be good. Even if kiddo or baby has the TV on. He may not do it your way but you are getting your break.
I'm just gonna say lol I'd hide the formula so that he has no choice but to use the breast milk you left out. That is literally the only thing in this situation that would have me anxietal and pissed off. Otherwise, momma enjoy your hair appointment!! I'm due for me one too.
I was nervous the first time I left my baby with my husband alone, really only because of nap time, I was always the one to put her down for a nap, and she was in a habit of waking 30 min into them but I would spend time getting her back to sleep. So I knew it could be a bit tricky for him. But I thought better to start sooner than later of this routine for when I go back to work and he is with her some days alone.
But I remember going grocery shopping alone and being so anxious the whole time texting my husband asking a million questions about if she is still asleep etc. After the first time though, it got easier for me to be comfortable going out on my own. Enjoy your time to yourself. You will feel refreshed afterwards
If back is safe and fed it doesn’t matter
Not doing things “your” way isn’t wrong. You’ll have to relinquish control and that’s hard, and emotional.
I found it hard to let go when my daughter was smaller but she’s always been perfectly fine with her dad. Maybe her clothes don’t match like I’d dress her or she has coco pops at lunch but she’s safe and loved.
what you said!
I love this post I could have wrote it myself a year and a half ago.
Let yourself breathe. I know you're in the thick of it and it is so hard. Let your mind at ease at your appointment. Really enjoy yourself because you deserve it!
I promise you will come home to daddy getting to share some memories with you. 💗 even if he is finally getting thrown up on or a poop blow out 😂😅
I agree it is ridiculously hard to ease your mind but if you love that man, give him grace (and yourself!) to do what you believe needs to be done. He will figure it out just like you have been. Try to fall in love with how he parents. Some times you aren't going to agree but he will have good ideas too!
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