Torn between SAHM & going back PT

So my bf’s family has been very vocal about him letting me stay home with the baby until she’s almost 1 at a minimum. I’m **supposed** to be going back to work 2 weeks from today. Going from 5 days 40hours/week to 4 days 32 hours/week.

I never asked or hinted at being one, they just really don’t want me commuting to drop her off at my moms who lives 30 mins away. They live a little over an hour away from us so my options for *free* childcare is limited & my mom has had 6 kids so I trust her more than anyone anyway.

I kind of want to be a stay at home & I definitely want to be with my baby but at the same time I like getting my nails and hair done so debating a part time but less than what my job is able to give me. But that’s just an extra expense I don’t feel comfortable asking him to provide along with rent and my main bills. Also just the feeling of being home and not working makes me feel weird and useless even though I’ll be the one taking care of the home & baby full time.

Just looking for advice and experiences

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I’m in the process of starting my own business so I can work from home and be with my daughter!

I’m a very creative person and love my crafts so I’m starting an embroidery business! I don’t know if this is an idea for you? Then you can be at home with baby and still work as and when you can :)

i work from home as a social media manager! i occasionally shoot for clients on the weekends but for the most part it’s getting to do everything i love (be with my kids & do my dream job) —look for some creative part time stuff if that’s your deal, if not there’s always data entry & phone call customer service lines!! —my job gives me just enough extra income for nails and hair and little treats for myself and my kiddos!

I initially thought I was going to be staying at home. But I’m now realizing there is also something nice about getting away to be your own person for a bit. I love my little dude but I don’t want to forget who I am 😅 so my plan is to work 1-2 days a week and see how it goes

i’m in a very similar situation!! i have a fulltime job i absolutely love (with summers off because it’s in the school district) but i do not trust daycares + daycare is SO expensive. my mom has also offered to do daycare for free because she’s just so excited to be a grandma, but they live 1.5 hours away from us. i was super torn about it for awhile - to just try to find a reasonably priced daycare because i love my job and make good money, or to be a SAHM. i’m not due until June so i have some time to think but i’m 90% sure i’m going to be a SAHM. we also might move down by my parents (and where all of my family + many of my lifelong friends live) because i need a support system and don’t really have much of one that could help with the baby when baby comes (e.g., babysitting, etc.). it’s definitely a stressful decision! go with what will make you happiest :)

I found nursing and working to be a difficult combination but I had to work with my first. I really enjoyed taking it slow and staying home with baby 2, when I had a little more financial wiggle room. You will not regret spending time with your newborn!

Honestly commuting baby is stressful for them too

I am a yoga teacher and have a 10month old. I work at gyms and can take him to the creche for free luckily. It means i get some extra spending cash for myself while my partner works full time and provides the essentials. Maybe finding something like work from home jobs might work? Or looking into side hustle’s

in our community

Mother

The house is quiet.
Finally, a moment to myself.
I sit on the couch, expressing milk for his next feed.
Time circles my mind.
Do I have enough time to write this?
Should I sleep instead?
It’s getting late.
I should be grateful.
I should be present.
I should… I should.
The guilt.
The intrusive thoughts.
The disconnection from self.
The robotic washing of bottles, clothes, and dishes.
Then the question returns.
Do I have enough time for me?
What me?
Who am I?
Where am I?
I miss her.
I miss me.
Who have I become?
I have become a mother.
I am everything to this little human who will one day call me mum.
His life depends on me with every waking moment.
I give.
And I give.
Then he smiles.
And suddenly I see him
the little human I have nourished with tired eyes,
with time,
with love stretched beyond capacity.
Sometimes I leave to rest.
To breathe.
But even then my mind returns home.
I should be there.
I should be caring for my baby.
Is this normal?
Am I normal?
I feel myself unbecoming the woman I once knew so well.
They say this time is sacred.
And it is.
But it goes fast.
Maybe because we are not fully here in these early days.
We are surviving.
Living on autopilot.
Days blur together.
Until suddenly he shows me something new —
a smile,
a look,
a tiny trick he has learned.
And that moment is priceless.
His beautiful smile.
His big, beautiful eyes.
He is beginning his life
as I share mine
to keep him thriving.
A sacred sacrifice.
A whirlwind.
A shift in reality.
Who am I?
I am mother.

Am I wrong for getting upset?

To make a long story short, we were added to a group chat for all the bridesmaids and groomsmen to plan the bachelor party to go to Vegas. So very been boiling about this all day.
I sent one message about finding a babysitter for my kid, and she messaged me privately with a very backhanded comment that I should not discuss anything regarding my son because her husband’s friends do not give a shit ….. as if I am supposed to cater to their interests…. This is my cousin by the way, she only has me, and her sister for family at her wedding the rest are his family and friends.

Does anyone have a child that’s a bit “different” when it comes to in law’s family? 😅😂

My sister in law is having a conversation with my 4year old and ask what their favorite tv show is and my 4/yo response “stranger things” and absolutely no comment when she said that 😂
She ask what is their favorite food and my 4yo says “spam” their response is “huh? What? “
Then asks what their favorite candy is and my 4y/o responds “no I don’t eat that. It’s not good for you” no response again 😂
I feel like there’s an expectation they have towards my kids
If they ask what their favorite tv show is they’ll expect a “Mickey mouse Minnie Mouse” that type of stuff for ex
Please tell me I’m not the only one and how do yall feel about it?😅😂

Am I overthinking this ?

Am I wrong for feeling some kind of way from my husband wanting to put my 2 yo daughter in daycare he always brings it up. But mind you I’m a stay at home mom. And my daughter does learn now she’s not getting no 3-4hr learning session but the thing is she knows all her alphabets, she knows her numbers from 1-20, and she knows a good amount of animals, and she even knows a few sign language that she caught on from Mrs. Rachelle at 1 yo ! She’s very smart and picks up on alot of words pretty fast. But knowing my daughter she doesn’t have a long attention span so I do what I know how she’ll learn best, she learn through music, we watch videos, and I physically show her and question her. But sometimes I feel offended when he brings up she should be in daycare around other kids learning as if I’m not with her everyday .

Husband is happy with only one kid, not me

We had another conversation about it tonight. We had our beautiful daughter 10 months ago, he is very happy to have her and totally in love. But he has personal/financial goals and is happy the way things are. He is looking forward for her to be a bit older and to be able to share more with her.

Me on the other hand am very sad about not having a second baby. I always viewed my life with two kids and am an only child and it seems I would have loved to have a sibling. I know kids don't always get along but me and my husband are both only childs... And I feel it would be great for her to have a sister or brother to share life with.

He says he is 90% sure he only wants one and I keep getting my hopes up on basically nothing... Did anyone go through something similar ? What happened ? And are you happy with your decision to have one more or stop at one ?

When you go to indoor play places or kids science museums, do you prefer to carry a purse or a back pack?

I always need to carry snacks for me and my 4 year old, a change of clothes for her just in case, a large water bottle.

I want to start dressing classier & carry a purse, but honestly a backpack just seems more practical and convenient than a purse to carry for hours. Thoughts?