Sleeping, not sleeping and safe sleeping…
I’m a FTM to a beautiful baby boy, who will be 3 weeks old tomorrow but sleep, or lack of sleep in this case, is a source of anguish in our house at the moment and it got me thinking about the information we are given as new mamas.
I get there are rules about safe sleeping to prevent SIDS, and I understand why we have them BUT why is other information that were given on sleeping a little contradictory to this?
1) We are told to nap when baby naps
2) We are told it’s ok if the only way baby will sleep is on us/cuddling us
3) Safe sleeping rules tell us we cannot sleep with baby on us, on a sofa or in a bed
My point is, if the only way baby will sleep is on us, how are we supposed to nap when they nap, if the safe sleeping rules tell us we can’t sleep with baby in bed or on a sofa with us?
If I’m missing something then please someone point it out for me but it seems a bit contradictory and confusing, does it not?
Breastfeeding vs family’s opinion
Hi. I’m posting this anonymously incase family are on here. I just need everyone’s advice as I’m really ticked off about the whole situation.
My Nan has always found breastfeeding a “wrong” thing to do. She made it clear from the moment I gave birth 3 months ago and started feeding her in the hospital when she came to visit. I’ve ignored it up till now as if my baby wants feeding I’m going to feed her regardless of how people feel about breastfeeding.
Yesterday I went to see my nan and my baby started getting fussy so tried to settle her then realised she needed feeding and I got a side eye uncomfortable look, she was on and off feeding for about half hour as she either kept drinking too quickly or getting wind causing her to be unsettled then wanted to just stay latched to me to sleep. Because I kept “exposing myself” I had a jumper over my top so no one could see compared to at home or anywhere else I just whip it out and feed her lol so was trying my best to not let her feel uncomfortable in her home but she kept asking if she has a dummy and I said no she won’t take one she prefers me and I’m her dummy as that’s where she gets comfort. I then got hit with “but she has to learn” “your too soft on her, with all your children” (I have 3) “you need to let her cry” she’s 3 months old and I told her “she cries because she’s telling me she needs me I’m not going to ignore her” and I kept getting hit with the fact u go to her every time she cries. She started crying there so I picked her up and fed her again which was 20 minutes later and I got hit with “you’ve only just fed her leave her you can’t see to her everytime” I was getting really annoyed at this point so snapped back and said “she’s hungry I’m not going to let her go hungry, she’s at the age of having a growth spurt so feeds more than normal” and I got told I always moan that I never get a break which yes I’m allowed to. I’m a single mum to 3 young kids so I’m allowed to moan doesn’t mean I want to be away from them and explained how the time to myself is in the evening when everyone’s asleep.
I then started to get ready to leave as the baby was really unsettled, probably because she was picking it up from me so was trying to rock her in my arms and my Nan then said she’ll try. I allowed it knowing full well my baby wanted me and she was going to cry more with my Nan, I done it to prove a point to my Nan. Within a minute she hadn’t settled so I went to take her from my Nan and she moved her out of my arms reach and started kidding her all on her face bear in mind she had told me she’s just gotten over a cold and still had a cough. At this point I was livid so snatched her back and instantly she feel asleep in my arms and I got hit with “I was trying to give you 5 minutes” I told her I don’t need 5 minutes. She then told me “you need to stop breastfeeding and put her on bottles” I told her no and with quite a tone I must admit and she asked why and said it’ll give me a break 🙄 I said well 1 the antibodies in breast milk is amazing and she’s the only one who’s not been ill in the household because she’s breastfed and 2 I don’t want to I’m exclusively breastfeeding as it’s what’s right for me and her and the other 2. She then made the comment off “I bottle fed mine and they turned out fine” I said everyone has a preference and this is mine.
I could feel myself ready to explode with anger defending my parenting so started diverting the conversation but for the near 2 hours I was there it was really uncomfortable and heated.
I just need peoples opinions on what I should do moving forward because I don’t want to not see my Nan as she’s my Nan but I don’t want us to buck heads over it everytime especially when my older 2 are with me at times.
