How do I tell them that I need some time alone?

So both sets of grandparents have been so very helpful. I am grateful I truly am. I had my son 5 days ago by emergency cesarean and was allowed to go home 2 days after. I am doing great, I have always had a high pain tolerance and recovered easily. I am up and about dealing very well taking care of baby and thr house at a slow but decent pace. But the grandparents are here every day. And I know they are being very helpful and are excited for their first grandchild, but I am overwhelmed with there always being someone around. I want some alone time with my husband and baby. Every time I think about bringing it up though I feel like I'm being an asshole because of just how helpful they are being. How do I bring this up? Am I being an asshole?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

If you don’t want them to know, say you’re going to be having some other visitors (friends maybe) over in the coming days so don’t want too many people in the house. Or just send a text, saying “Thank you so much for the support over the last few days, we’re truly so grateful. Are you free to visit us and baby one day next week?”

You’re not an asshole. You’re entitled to your own space to enjoy your baby bubble xx

You’re not an arsehole! You definitely need some alone time as a new family.. Ask your husband to let them know you’re having a rest day as a family and you’ll let them know when to pop over next.. I know you are doing well but doesn’t mean you can’t take a rest and breather (hosting is mentally exhausting!)

Good luck mama xxx

I had similar experiences. I set up a family group chat and wrote on there that I was just letting them know i was happy for them to come to see baby but only one or two people at a time for maximum 2 hours and only when arranged in advance.

If they’re keeping you from feeling relaxed so you can heal, they aren’t helping. That’s necessary too!

Can understand this for sure ! Was in the same boat . In my religion we have a party 7 days after the baby is born . And not just the grandparents but the whole family was over cooking. I did a deep clean my entire house a week before hand because of nesting 🤣 but my husband and his mom decided it would be cheaper for cooking all the food instead of buying it from a restaurant. With that being said , THEY COOKED EVERYTHING at my house . I’m so grateful for everyone who helped with the party, and till this day I can’t thank them enough but I cleaned every time or every second I got because I clean a certain way and I always want a clean house . But then being over non stop and after my c section . I just wanted my lil boy and my husband that’s it. And I told my husband I don’t want nobody over or I’m not going over there. He thought I was mean but 🤷🏼‍♀️ oh well 🤣 your not being an asshole , and definitely express your feeling .

Get your husband to do it lol

1. Just ask. Don’t think too much into it. Make a clear request. Hey guys, I appreciate all the help but I’m a little overwhelmed and would like a few days with just my husband and baby.

2. High pain tolerance or not, you haven’t healed/recovered after 5 days having a c-section so please take it easy. Your body does still absolutely need rest.

in our community

5 months today🥺

where has the time gone!!!

C - section

Hello lovelies, I’m getting closer to my date of c section.

Can I ask how it all went for you? I felt prepared and now I have this awful feeling what if I bleed out! I’m sure that’s not the case. But I just wondered how it went, and how the aftermath was. I have seen on social media people say it’s horrendous but then I speak to friends and family and they’re like yeah it’s not easy but you can cope! You can walk, etc. I think it’s the unknown… lol!

Also were you all sick during your procedure and did you all get terrible trapped gas? If so what tips do you have xx

Best way to be induced??

I just found out I may need to be induced early due to preeclampsia and having a generally bigger baby which of the ways to be induced do y’all recommended?

This is a bit strange.. but hear me out

I am 36 weeks and 4 days today.
I had that feeling, you know when you are trying to take a tampon out on your end of period and it kind of hurts because the tampon is dry? I had that sensation today?

Now I feel like I have to push something about my vagina? It kinda tickles but uncomfortable. I’m not having any pains at all anywhere btw so can’t be baby ??

cheating dream

i need advice but PLS DON'T JUDGE!!!
last night i had a dream, i always used to dream my partner cheating on me with my friends, or being super mean, but since we had our baby those dreams disappeared. for context, we haven't been able to have sex yet, I'm 12 weeks pp, and my pelvic floor is so tense, and it's awful.
last night i had a VERY weird dream, it was so realistic, and different from others, he handed me his phone, and ask me to help him handle this girl, like annoyed? in the chat this girl was super obsessive, and messaged him a lot before he replied. she asked him to sing a song to her, and he sent her a voice message singing it, and other voice messages i couldn't listen in the dream. i wrote her to stop, and she was angry, telling me he started it. then i confronted him about this (still in the dream) and he changed his attitude, he seemed so guilty and said to me he had deleted some messages. i don't remember much else, but i woke up with the URGE of checking his insta messages. we've been together for 5 years, and I've never checked his phone, and neither has he (that i know if, at least) and contained myself, but I'm still very much concerned about it. it felt like an epiphany, a revelation or smth like that. I know people might think I'm overreacting but i can't get it out of my head, it was so specific.
i though about asking him to show me, but i know he'll be bothered that i don't trust him (i would be too in his place), but if he's cheating he would say that to make me feel bad. also i thought about checking his phone in his sleep, and then ask him to see his reaction, but feel so bad, i wouldn't like if he went through my phone without asking, even tho I have nothing to hide.
please, be kind!!

Princess birthday party

My child will be turning 5 over the summer and they’ve asked for a princess party but keep changing their mind on which princess they’d like to most their party so have said I can choose 🙈 which princess would your child have chosen at a similar age or if you’ve been to a few princess parties which one was best?