Behaviour

what sort of discipline do you do for your 2 year old?

For starters, if he throws something, take it away and stand your ground. If he cries from it, let him get it out don’t necessarily pick him up or comfort him cause that’s telling him “you were wrong but I’m sorry”. If he’s hitting and kicking, try parallel play instead of playing together. That way he’s not in reach of the next person but still getting the social interaction.

I haven’t experienced this yet but it’s worth a shot. It’s what I’d do if my son was doing the same thing.

Please don’t beat yourself up about it, could be a sign of something more maybe? Or could just be that age he’s getting into.
Have you thought about maybe going to the doctor to see, i know it’s a difficult conversation to have but there maybe an explanation for his behaviour.
My stepson has adhd and we really struggle with his behaviour.

It’s not your fault at all please don’t blame yourself 💗 as mammas we will always do the best we can, there’s no text book to say how this goes. It might just be an age thing it might be more. Maybe worth exploring your options to see, I hope your okay x

I think all go through phases, mine had had the throwing phase recently, and I'd collect whatever he threw and 'put it in the bin' I didn't make a scene over it, I'd ask once, don't throw else it goes in the bin. If he threw again I wouldn't have anything, I'd just take it.
Hitting ect, just put him down straight away don't say anything.
Ignore the crying if there is not something wrong with him ie he's hurt.
Unfortunately you are at the most difficult age where they understand everything but can't fully communicate. Lead by example, be calm

@Sara sorry but if that's true you are disgusting.

I have always used time outs for my daughter. I would then explain why she went into time out afterwards, then we would have cuddles and kisses.
I would also use distraction, singing songs or playing with something else and making it very interesting. Or if she wanted to throw things giving her something she can throw like a soft teddy I even used balloons for this.

I read somewhere that children hold onto the last couple of words of a sentence so if you say ‘no running’ all they hear is ‘running’. So instead say things like ‘let’s walk’. & making requests very simple like ‘shoes on’ ‘bums on seat’.

I also found that saying a time out loud helped so much! When we were out at soft play and things my daughter would scream when it was time to go and honestly I don’t blame her, imagine having so much fun and then someone abruptly saying ‘ok time to go.’ Instead I’d say ‘we have 20 minutes left before we go home’ and I’d do a 5 minute countdown and it works every time x

As someone who works with kids who have behavioral struggles. It’s much easier to work with other kids than your own on behavior. That’s not a bad thing it means you’re a loving mom, just got to work on standing your ground because in the long run it’s what’s best for the kiddo. I like to stick with more natural and correlated consequences especially for littles. Examples would be you try to hit when I pick you up, I don’t hold you. But explain it age appropriately too. “I’m sorry you are upset but mommy can’t hold you if you are going to hit. Please let me know if you’re ready to be held”. If they keep crying check back if they want to be held every min or few min. Throws a book, book is put away and explain we can pick something else we can play nicely with but the book needs to go away for a set amount of time. Good luck mama you got this

It sounds to me like there's something more going on and he doesn't know how to process or express/communicate that.

I would try and figure out the root cause and address that.

Personally, discipline/punishment isn't something I would use in this situation.

As an adult, if I was distressed enough to be crying, screaming, thrashing etc and someone punished me rather than tried to understand and try to help me, I'd find that even more distressing. And that's with emotional maturity that kids that age don't have yet.

It sounds like a pretty normal toddler having developmentally difficult tantrums. I’m sure it’s exhausting (we’re not quite there yet) but their brains are not developed enough to express themselves in other ways yet. He’s a year and a half old, he’s a baby, he needs love and guidance and support, what he most definitely does NOT need is discipline, least of all physical. I cannot fathom somebody using corporal punishment on any child, let alone one that small. What does that even teach them? If you hit, it’s wrong, so I’ll hit you back even harder? A terrible and confusing message, and awful to abuse a child who depends on us for everything.

please don’t do this your LG will be so upset with this 🥺 imagine when she’s older and doesn’t like someone’s behaviour and starts hitting them with an object how are you going to explain to other parents/police where she picked that up from…. Oh my mummy hits me when I’m bad 🤯

I do agree with this! Littles need guidance over discipline. That’s why I love natural consequences. Because every action as a consequence good or bad. I won’t let my kiddo do whatever they want but when they are that young especially they are learning. As a grown adult I still make choices and am like “oh that’s not the outcome I was expecting”. I was never spanked or hit and because of that even in school I didn’t want to get in trouble. I hated disappointing people by deliberately breaking rules.

the fact you would call it child rearing scares me! One day she will hit you back or your be reported for child abuse and won’t have a child to hit anymore hopefully! I wish your LG on the help in the world and feel sorry for your new baby that’s on the way god help her when she cries at a week old

Please don’t listen to Sara, this is normal behavior for this age, why have a child if you’re going to hit them whenever they do normal things for their age? Punishment (especially hitting) isn’t effective for this age, they can’t understand it. Set clear rules, tell them specifically about their behavior is wrong and why. Physically stop him from hitting or breaking things and tell him why (hitting hurts me, I am holding you because I am not going to let you hit me, I will put you down in a safe place when you are more calm). Take them out of the situation when they are misbehaving and offer a distraction. Stay calm and be consistent. It will take months for them to get better, but they will get better as they develop as long as you are consistent in what the rules are. This age is tough but they do grow out of it. If it’s getting worse, consult a child therapist.

how did I have a rough childhood? I don’t have the urge or mental capacity to think ahh I need to discipline with pain! I’ve reported your account for domestic abuse good luck to you

@Sara child rearing? How are you going to teach your child to be kind and gentle when you use force and violence. You are trying to make a distinction between hitting and discipline, and there isn't one. You have already said, when your child misbehaves, you actively seek out a weapon to harm your child, what the fuck is wrong with you. She is 2, she doesn't know what right or wrong is, you are supposed to show her.

you just said you get out a wooden spoon. That's hitting and that's child abuse

unfortunately you are right just breaks my heart that a little girl is being treated like this from the one person who’s meant to be her safe space 🥺 hopefully she will see all the comments about how she wrong and take a moment to think x

He’s sounds like a normal 19m old to me

This is normal behavior for this age. They like to see reaction make things move, fall, etc. It’s fun for them. You have to be a broken record and tell him to not to throw things at people on purpose. Tell him it hurts, etc. Babies this young don’t understand right from wrong yet, don’t see their actions have an effect. They live completely in the moment and only what they need or want. This is completely normal. Nursery will force him to behave more since he’ll see other kids doing things. Also kids behave very differently with other people. So don’t worry about that. You might actually learn something from the teachers about how to mange him more. Be kind but firm is something I try to remember.

my son went through this exact behaviour, it was a phase from 14-19 months for us. he’s 21 months now and calmed down immensely now he can communicate a bit more! hang in there.