I feel like I’m a single mom while in a relationship..

I do everything for my kids. From cooking, cleaning, playing and teaching. I work remotely and their dad does not. He starts work late afternoons and is either sleeping all morning or on the video game. Once he comes home he either goes to the gym or plops down on the video game and plays until 6am or later. He does absolutely nothing for the kids or the house. The one and only thing he does is takes the trash to the curb on garbage day and even then I have to remind him. This morning I was sleeping and our oldest woke up and found his dad on the game. He told his dad he was hungry and he left to go get breakfast. Why on earth would he wake me up once he got back to feed the kids?! He’s reasoning was “I went and got it!” So I blew up. I’m so tired of working all day, tending to the kids, house and pets while he just freeloads. He feels because I work from home and he does not I should carry majority of the load. He’s reasoning is disgusting and I’ve held my tongue so long because our kids really love their dad and I’ve been holding on to hope he’ll change but I doubt it and they’re starting to take notice. One of our kids won’t even speak to him anymore. I heard her tell my oldest recently she doesn’t like daddy. My 13 month old used to be extremely happy to see him come home and now she won’t even reach out for him. He’s even accused me of talking about him to our kids and that’s so far from true. Whenever they try to talk to him he’s always yelling at his video game. If they happen to catch his attention he’s always irritated that they’re distributing him and that’s why they’re treating him differently. I’ve talked to him time and time again about this and it changes for maybe one day and the right back to the same old same old. I feel like he’s a child in a grown man’s body. He’s parents pacify him and excuse his behavior. I feel like he’d do better moving back in with them and I’ll raise my kids alone since that’s what I’ve been doing already. I’m sorry for such a long post. It’s hard for me to vent about my problems to my loved ones.

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First off, I’m sorry you’re hurting, that sounds stressful. Have you discussed with your husband his video game usage? As insane as this may sound, usually people who are not contributing as they should (freeloading) don’t feel good about themselves or their situation either. If you can muster the energy to address him with love and concern, he will be given the opportunity to step up and reflect on what kind of man he wants to be. My husband too likes gaming but I gently remind him of his goals or things we agreed upon with it, maybe just by saying that our daughter would like to play with him for a few minutes before bed, he usually responds as long as I don’t come from a place of anger (even if I am tired and upset about it.) I hope you understand I also feel this way with my family sometimes but the most productive method of dealing with it has usually been to take a deep breath and try to remember the pressures my husband is feeling and to be kind about it

I feel the same way, and my inbox is open if you want to vent more or go back and forth and relate but I’m so tired of it too. The difference is I’ve been living off of my savings while he works and I’ve recently been trying to find a job bc he works but he won’t help with anything monetarily but I also don’t know what to do bc his family is estranged and we live in a state where he doesn’t have anywhere to go ya know? It’s exhausting having to mother and remind someone to do the most basic things and to be a father. I hear you. I also don’t really feel like I have anyone to talk to so def here if you wanna talk 😌 sending you lots of energy and good sleep so you can get through your tough days. You’re doing great and your kids see that, keep your head up.

My husband travel for work and loved video games. We have a policy of no games while the kids are awake. Our normal schedule (when he's in town) is we get up with the baby (one on the way as well) together and spend the day with him taking turns covering him or doing household stuff. Then one of us cooks dinner and the other does bath/ bedtime. After bedtime we eat dinner and after 8:30 he can head to ply if he wants to and I go watch what i want to watch or go to sleep. Our parental agreement basically being the kids come first. He can stay up all night if he wants to but the kid still wakes up at 7:30 so he better show up with a smile ready to play happy daddy wether he's exhausted or not. This luckily pushed him to choose to play less without me asking him to. It just wasn't worth it to him to half ass being a dad in the morning to stay up all night. If we don't have any household stuff that day or I'm needing a preggo nap he plays during nap time with headphones.

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Ughhh

I am so overwhelmed!! My baby isn’t sleeping and I’ve got a raging headache and all this legal stuff is making me feel irritated and I just want to cry.
I absolutely hate the idea of letting him just cry while I take 5 seconds

I really hate to come out here and tell my business about what’s going on with my life in my kids, but I had no choice

I just came back from a parent teachers conference meeting and they telling me that my second daughter, who just turned eight about a week ago that she barely know how to read and she has speech problems… I already feel like shit because it’s not that I’m doing my job. It’s because I worked a lot, and and every time, me and my first oldest daughter, trying to teach you how to read, she gets insecure and thinking that we making fun of her, but we’re not!! I felt like a shitty mother I don’t know what to do.

Nursery

What's people's thoughts on nursery? Is it better to choose somewhere closer to where you live or better to choose somewhere in the middle for different people that may be picking baby up? We've just started looking and just don't know which is better

Am I overthinking this ?

Am I wrong for feeling some kind of way from my husband wanting to put my 2 yo daughter in daycare he always brings it up. But mind you I’m a stay at home mom. And my daughter does learn now she’s not getting no 3-4hr learning session but the thing is she knows all her alphabets, she knows her numbers from 1-20, and she knows a good amount of animals, and she even knows a few sign language that she caught on from Mrs. Rachelle at 1 yo ! She’s very smart and picks up on alot of words pretty fast. But knowing my daughter she doesn’t have a long attention span so I do what I know how she’ll learn best, she learn through music, we watch videos, and I physically show her and question her. But sometimes I feel offended when he brings up she should be in daycare around other kids learning as if I’m not with her everyday .

Correcting eating with hands?

My 1yo eats with utensils perfectly fine, my 3yo is capable of doing it too but doesn't like to and prefers to use her hands. I don't know how to correct this at home without it sounding lowkey like nonsense. We have finger foods, other cultures eat "messy" foods with their hands, we teach to eat until your tummy feels comfortable so idk how to explain that even tho eating with her hands is the most comfortable that she isn't supposed to?? Because even as an adult I don't see a problem with it unless it'd be disrespectful to the chef/host 😅 Do I just say we need to practice at home just in case a future chef/host would be offended by it? 😭

My mil is the reason I see my husband as less of a man

LA little back story, my mil got a new bf last year and a month into dating they insisted he be called grandpa. Fast forward to a few months ago mother-in-law and her boyfriend‘s behavior has turned nasty after father-in-law has come back into the picture. After mother-in-law and her boyfriend’s behavior at family events, such as my son’s baptism, my Christmas party and my father’s Christmas party, I told my husband to tell his mom that her boyfriend is no longer to be called Grandpa. fast-forward three months and he still hasn’t told her because he doesn’t want to upset her feelings. Now her bf wants to bring his son over to my house to meet my kids or his “grandkids” and they didn’t ask my opinion. I told my husband how I feel about it and he’s not telling her no because he doesn’t want to upset her. I’m starting to see my husband as less of a man because of his mom and putter her above me.

Am I over reacting? What should I do?