Too Much Routine?

Oh no
You are good.
Let him take of the kid today since he wanted to stay out last night
3 am is way to late to be up for anyone lol

No you’re not being unreasonable. He is! That whole situation just pissed me off he needs to stop acting like that immediately he is damaging your child’s physical health and sleep by not letting him be on a schedule and get proper rest especially since he won’t sleep while y’all are out. Babies need schedules. Their body and mind needs it to develop properly. And as for you being the one stuck and forced to take care of an overtired baby because he is too inconsiderate and immature to address your and the baby’s needs just because he is “having fun” that’s horrible. He needs to grow up and stop gaslighting you into thinking you’re the problem for being a responsible and caring mother for your child trying to do what’s best for the baby because he doesn’t wanna give up his own desires. And yes babies do need an early bedtime you are correct.

And you having to work during the day at home while taking care of the baby at the same time also means yes you do need a schedule or you will go crazy as a mom. He should care way more about your mental health and being overworked and overstimulated. And it sounds like he is the type to go looking to other people to validate that he is right and things should go his way which is very scary cause he will never listen unless someone else like his friends tells him very seriously he needs to stop acting like that or a counselor.

Exactly! I got up this morning and handed the baby to him and went for a walk. I’m letting him figure it out today lol

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I agree with you 100%. Our son doesn’t sleep out and about and that’s not his fault but it doesn’t mean leave him out places exhausted and just let him be up hours on end. Every child is different and he’s just not the type to sleep when there’s commotion and loud music and lights on.

I told my husband he was being both inconsiderate AND immature and that he needs to start acting like a parent instead of a college student.

He knows I try to be as diplomatic as possible because we’re in front of his family and I don’t want to look bad or argue in front of them so he takes advantage of that.

I’m thinking either I don’t take the baby out places with him anymore or I just take a separate car because he’s probably not going to change this behavior.

This happens ALL the time and it’s miserable for me.

Just be careful. If it’s so hard for people to understand the basics of a child’s well being when it comes to sleep, eating, basic routines… you never know what else they lack. I know not everyone has empathy or common sense but you never really know what people are capable of.

Also disciplining your child is loving them. It doesn’t always mean disciplined after misbehaving but teaching them structure and executive functions as well.

Yeah I would just take matters into my own hands and make it to where there’s no way he can keep you and the baby out when y’all are ready to go home. Like you said either don’t go places with your husband and the baby or take a separate car cause y’all deserve peace and he is preventing that. And maybe try talking to him again sometimes you have to get down on a man’s level so try and get all sexy for him seduce him into bed and be extra soft and ask him in a sweet voice while playing with him if he can please listen to you when you tell him it’s time to go and that it really hurts you and the baby when y’all aren’t able to leave when you need to and that it you would appreciate him so much and maybe even say it would turn you on and he will get really good sex after y’all get home since you won’t be so exhausted and the baby will be asleep so y’all can have alone time. Try and make it sound as enticing as possible. If that don’t work do what u said above

I was thinking of that as well.
Just making sure ahead of time there is a quiet space for my son to nap or go to bed for the night. I’ll bring his PJs, noise machine, and everything he needs so we can keep the routine. My husband tries to force him to sleep in whatever conditions because he sees the other family member’s kids sleeping that way and thinks we need to just train our child but you’re absolutely right! Routine is good for baby’s and helps US moms. He can find a way home or I think he’ll get the point if we stop going to places with him 😂

I’d be so upset if my partner asked me to keep our kiddo up that late. Late bedtime for us is 9 pm. We rarely EVER have her down later than that. Her regular bedtime is 7 pm and we will not attend or will leave any event early to meet that. We received the new year in bed him and I with our little sleeping in her room. No way we would have let her stay up. Children thrive in predictable environments and their sleep is crucial for brain development.

WTF absolutely not. The last thing I’d ever wanna do is have sex with a man who refuses to parent. He deserves sex for what? Hell nah girl. EW

Does your husband respond to authority figures, relaying information?

Do you think your pediatrician could have the conversation with him? Routine is incredibly important for children and perhaps he would listen better.

You’re doing an awesome job by the way!

That’s amazing that you and your partner are on the same page about bedtime. I’d love for us to both decide to leave events early enough to meet that and that sounds like a great way to spend new years as a family 🤍

He actually can (sometimes) but it depends really.

I actually didn’t think about this but I’ll bring up the sleep conversation at our next pediatrician visit.

There was another matter we kept disagreeing about with our son and the pediatrician basically backed up what I had been telling my husband and he’s listened ever since so worth a try.