Feeling trapped

Morning ladies, just a quick little rant I guess. My LO is now 10weeks old and I just feel trapped. Always in the house from 7:30am-5:30pm, sometimes later, on my own with just her and the 2 dogs 5days a week then on Saturdays 7:30am-12:30pm. The only time I leave the house is for a couple hours on a Wednesday to do the food shop or for any of her appointments. I get my partner works those hours and he’s tired but I don’t think he understands how much I want to get out the house. My other problem is weekdays everywhere is closed after he gets in, Saturdays he helps with the house work when he comes in and Sundays I want to let him relax. I can’t go for a walk anywhere during the day as we leave the wheels to her pram in the car and forget to take them out. My mum has said that she can always come get me if I need her to as she lives a 5 minute car journey away but anytime I ask she’s either busy or “no fuel” however if it was my brother (0kids) or sister (4+1baking) asking she would be there in a heartbeat. Now I’ve always been the “forgotten child” out of the 3 of us but I think since having my own and moving out it’s affecting me more than it used to. How can you dote on one child and not on another? I should let it get to me as I’ve had it for 20years now but somehow I do. I think sitting in the house near enough 24/7 is making my mental health a lot worse as well but anytime I bring it up to drs or HV it’s always “it’s normal to feel a little down” and “there are groups out there you can go to” but they’re all too far for me to walk even if I had the chance. All of my friends left when I got pregnant not that I had many anyways. Having a Velcro FOMO baby doesn’t help either as I can’t get anything done. Although I can’t blame her atm as she had her jabs yesterday. I’m no good at talking to people on here as I don’t exactly know how or I just forget to reply. Does anyone know what I mean or am I going loopy? There’s still so much I could go on about but I don’t think I have the capacity to think about it all without braking down 🙃

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I understand completely, I would go insane if I didn’t get out and see people. If you can’t use the pram can you not use a baby carrier so then at least you could maybe just have a walk everyday if only half an hour. I know weather is terrible atm but it would make such a difference to get some fresh air and a change of scenery. Just both wrap up warm X

Sounds like you could help yourself a bit more. You say you keep leaving the wheels to the pram in the car, and you keep stopping talking to people. If you want things to change you have to do something about it.

You honestly just need to get out the house though. Use a sling, carry the baby, use the pram whatever. Try and get out the house once a day, even if it's to walk around the block or sit in the garden (even if it's cold), it will help your mental health tremendously.

Feeling trapped is a common feeling for new mums though. It'll get better as you get more comfortable getting out with bubba x

Thirded: get a sling! Solve the trapped problem, and will be good for your mental health so hopefully you feel more confident about engaging with people 🙂

I agree with others about getting a sling/carrier , it gives u freedom to just leave the hiuse when u want to even just for a little walk. Also don't rely on someone to give you freedom. Like if your mum isn't going to be there for u don't rely on her. Just get yourself out of the house even if it's just for a walk cos u will feel soo much better.
Believe me I know what u mean by feeling trapped i don't drive (yet) and live in a rural village. I also have my oldest son home a lot because he's often off school (having some issues with school) I just try and get out when I can (I'm really unwell atm so haven't been out this week though)

Where are you based? I live near Chesterfield so if you live close, we can go for a walk together or whatever you fancy 🤗

I signed up to a baby class where I get to meet new mums and socialise with them whilst spending time with baby out of the house also just head down to the local town centre sometime and just wander round the shops and sit and have a coffee I couldn’t stay in all the time I’d get cabin fever lol try to see if there are any local classes i was a bit dubious as I’m new to the area but it’s been nice to just chat to other mums going through the same as me x

in our community

Hidden veg mince pasty 🥐

Grated courgette and carrot mixed in with onion and mince and a little bit of tomato puree. 😋

My daughter has become a little fussy and prefers anything she can hold so made these today for lunch! She’s 14 months old 🩷

Appropriate age to go out

I am the kind of person who struggles with being at home all day, not good for my mental health. I have a 1 month old and I am trying to start doing things with her. Like going ti the park, running errands. But people seem surprised and kind of judgy that I am out with the baby at her age. Is this wrong?

Am I wrong for getting upset?

Long story short. My cousin made a group chat for bridesmaids and groomsman to plan out bachelorette party.
I sent one text about finding a sitter and my cousin texts me to stop saying stuff like that cause no one gives a shit? As if no one else is gonna mention their personal lives during planning a trip of 10 people?
I. Put the screenshots. I got so hurt I told her just count me out if the mention of my kid offends everyone.

Roles between a sthm and a working partner?

I started wondering if our arrangement makes any sense. When I was pregnant I saw a cute video of a couple where they sleep seperately, the mom takes care of the baby during the night, the husband wakes up early in the morning takes over so the woman sleeps a bit before he gets to work I suggest this arrangement to my husband and we both liked it. Since I gave birth to my 22 month old boy, we are sleeping separately, I’m taking care of everything. My toddler still wakes up during the night every two hours on average. I wake up in the morning to make his breakfast and drive him to the train station and pick him up later in the day. I clean and cook and take care of my boy, with no appreciation or thank you. If I say I’m tired it turns he’d say what are you doing all day or he’d remind me of how he’s paying for everything. I am emotionally and physically exhausted and I don’t feel this is how a team should work.

Having a bit of a sad day

I don’t know if I want advice or just to get it out a bit.
I had a bit of a rubbish Mother’s Day, and then today had a falling out with my mum.
Very long story short, me and my partner turn 30 this year and were thinking of taking a short trip (2-3 days max) just the two of us to celebrate. Our son will be 2 by then.
We had discussed leaving our son with our parents and them sort of splitting having him (eg. My mum has him one night and my boyfriend’s mum has him the other two nights, or whatever we collectively decide on). They are both happy to do this.

Yesterday my MIL was pushing my son’s pram and got distracted and pushed it off the pavement into the road, a car missed the pram by about 5 seconds. This upset me a lot.

Me and my partner discussed this later on and I said it worries me leaving our son with her in case she does something like that. We also discussed the fact that my mum pays very little attention to our son when she’s with him and is absolutely glued to her phone (looking at social media etc) so we might just take him on holiday with us.

Then this morning I had a chat with my mum and told her we would probably just take our son away with us. She asked why and I mentioned the pram thing with my MIL so she said she would just have him- so I thought it was time to mention that when she’s with him she is glued to her phone and gets distracted and that it just worries me a bit. (For reference she’s been watching him before and because she’s been on her phone he’s managed to get half way up her stairs.)
She absolutely lost it at me. Called me rude etc.

I try so hard not to upset anyone and I’m just so so fed up now. I just wish it was simple and we could trust them to take care of him but they are both away with the fairies.

I want to talk to my mum but i don’t know how to approach it now. Just feel like i need a big cry.

Sending my baby to nursery

My daughter is just shy of 6 months old and I'm already feeling horrendously guilty about putting her in childcare for 5 days a week (2 days nursery, 3 at a childminder 8am to 4/5pm) when she's just over 13 months!

Right now, she goes to bed by latest half 7 so I really don't know how I'm going to handle going from being with her 24/7 to only seeing her for max. 2.5hours a day!

Does anyone else feel like this? Does it get any easier? If it wasn't for how expensive everything is nowadays, I'd be a SAHM in a heartbeat!