Disagreement with Partner on birth decisions
Sorry for upcoming long post. My partner has been super supportive so far with all things pregnancy/baby and couldn't fault him. We've been talking about labour and breathing techniques etc and he's been really onboard. However the past few weeks I've had to have extra scans due to blood flow to baby fluctuating between normal and slightly borderline. All my other factors are absolutely fine and baby has been ideal every time its been monitored on CTG etc. They said because it's been inconsistent, after the upcoming scan on Monday they will have a consultation with me and make a plan etc. I'm worried they will try to coerce me into induction, and from research I've done and reading multiple people's experiences on here the medical staff are a bit Induction/intervention happy. Of course if it's a medical necessity I won't ignore there advice but I said to my partner I will question it and if it's not necessary I will stand my ground and wait for Labour to start naturally. He kicked off saying there's two in this relationship and what the doctor says goes and it's not just my decision. This now makes me fear he won't be as supportive/an advocate for me during labour and he would think any intervention they offer is what's best and I have to take it... which goes against my mindset on how i want it to go and I'm the one doing all reading/research into the topic, while he'd just take the what the staff say as gospel.. has anyone experienced this and how did you tackle the situation. Am I in the wrong? Like I said, of course I won't argue with what's a medical necessity/emergency, but there's also a line between that and respecting my decisions/body autonomy/questioning a suggestion and asking for alternatives etc.
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Sorry you are going through this, it must be super frustrating. Of course it is your decision and yours alone. It’s your body! Drs unfortunately are not always acting in our best interests when it comes to labour, but are frequently massively erring on the side of caution, protecting themselves and the hospital in case anything were to go wrong. My local hospital has a 50% c section rate for this reason! While I was giving birth they recommended me to have a c-section when I was 8cm dilated and progressing nicely. I didn’t buy their narrative and refused. Baby came quickly after and was totally fine, as I knew would be the case. Sometimes we have to trust our instincts on these things and sadly we cannot always trust medical professionals to act in our best interests.
Wow! He needs to calm down! He's not the one giving birth.
He should always except your decision. He can have an opinion but it's your choice
Not sure where he’s got that idea from… it actually is only your decision since youre the one going through it. Sounds like he’s scared and lashing out because of it. Doctors are definitely intervention & induction happy these days but if it makes you feel any better my induction went amazingly and all I needed to shift things along was a gel inserted into my cervix & my waters broken a few hours later. However other women dont have such positive experiences because their bodies werent quite ready. Listen to your own body and take both the doctors recommendations & your own research into consideration. Tell your partner when he is the one having to push out a baby from a pea sized hole, he can decide how he goes about it
If you can I'd strongly recommend hiring a doula. Or at least talking to one. Your husband sounds like he just needs more education. I hope he's open to it.
It's tough for partners too, they also are on the path to becoming parents and their feelings can be all over the place too.
Thanks girls for your comments and sharing your experience. What you're saying reassures the way I feel. I'll try to approach the matter calmly and just have a discussion and hopefully we reach an agreement 🙏
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