What would you do if you found out your husband is a closet gay?
Just found out an hour ago. Currently in a state of indescribable emotion.
Back story:
Hubby told me he’s not interested in doing it these days.
I’m 4 and a half months postpartum.
We got in the act once last month.
How I found out :
I did check his phone. I know… 🫣it’s not something I’m proud of but I have my reasons.
Will take your wrath on a different day please. 🙏
Anyhow, I scrolled thru his recent pictures and found screenshot of men on the Grindr app which was taken just today at 3pm.
I have lots of gay friends back home and hence recognized the app / logo. Plus a screen with profiles full of gay men is not hard to put two and two.
Went into his email and on search box typed Grindr- it read subscription ending soon dated in 2019 on his name.
Maybe he has a different secret email for his new account. Who knows?
We had a lot of martial problems with his anger issues in the beginning of our marriage and he always would think I was cheating on him. 🤦🏻♀️
Kind of all slowly making sense.
Weird thoughts that come to mind: how is sex btw us so enjoyable. Can’t be just me!?
Maybe he is bi?
I don’t even know where my thought process should begin and end.
So back to - what would you do girlfriend?
Will eat some ice cream and sip some tea and hope to interact in this safe space.
Oddly I thought to come here first and I feel relieved even just typing it out.
I’m trying to gain perspective.
Please be kind.
Thanks if you are still here.
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Talk to him about. While leading you on and lying to you is awful, just remember he is closeted and obviously has a lot of stuff to deal with. He’s clearly not comfortable with being open about who he is. That being said, your feelings are SO valid and you are 10000% allowed to feel just as betrayed, hurt and furious as any other woman being cheated on/lied to feels. So sorry mama 🩷
well I dont know . maybe be honest to him and ask him. just tell him the truth about what you know
It depends how you feel if he was bi would that bother you?
But if he's fully gay then I'd tell him I know and even tho it would be hard id suggest them to find a man and stay friends you don't want your child in a toxic argument environment if you force something to work that just may not connect that way but staying friends will definitely benefit your child and make splitting alot calmer
Back to if he's bi only you can answer that but I'd definitely talk about it because he may just be questioning and need someone to talk to but is scared you will run away if hes questioning broadening his sexuality and if he does open up your next step would be discussing if he's happy to have you as his only sexual partner or if you and him accept some consensual non monogamy to explore his other interests
Feel free to message me for no judgement tho x
I was you ten years ago. It’s like reading my story. Please message me if you’d like to talk
Yup go to god about this asap. He will direct you on how to handle it.
Pls get tested first thing
Ok so honestly I would first calm down and gather my thoughts. Write down as many questions I have in a non derogatory way. Then sit him down and ask him to be honest that I will ask him some questions. First I will throw some non relevant questions and then ask him. Are you bi? And if he says no then ask openly, are you gay? And if he says no calmly tell him the truth. But remeber that kindness goes both ways and you both have a child so an argument isnt going to end things in a good way. Just remember that you want a person that loves you and is interested in you.
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